“Painful Past”

Thursday, January 27, 2011

How do I console my daughter who just revealed to me that a trusted grandpa figure exposed himself to her multiple times when she was younger?  This man knows the Bible and is involved in children’s ministry at a Christian church (not church of Christ).

Sincerely,
Horrified Mother

Dear Horrified Mother,

Oh, what dark and troublesome times we live in that such things would happen to children!  We can’t give you the exact words to say, nor can we give you a crash course in counseling via the internet.  What we can do is point out a few verses that deal with tragedy and may be useful when talking with your daughter.

1. Listen.  Many times the greatest tool you have to help someone who is suffering is simply to use your ears.  You can’t remove the hurt they are feeling; each heart knows its own sorrows (Pr 14:10), but you can do a great deal of good by being “swift to hear” (Jas 1:19).
2. Rom 8:28 is a great comfort to many people because it gives them hope.  God is able to turn tragedy into victory when we trust Him and live our lives His way.  All things are possible through God (Php 4:13).
3. Some of the greatest people of the Bible have dealt with great sorrow, tragedy, and depression – read our post “I’ve Got The Joy, Joy, Joy” for examples.
4. You may recommend reading the Psalms to her, if she asks for advice.  The Psalms can give great comfort to people when human words aren’t enough.
5. Stand by her if she chooses to expose this man and his sin.  He is endangering others, and if she has the strength, justice should be upheld.  Darkness should be exposed by the light (Eph 5:11).

We know that these are a paltry help for such a great pain, but many times words are the least effective at times like this.  As we said, many times the greatest tool is a loving and listening ear.

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