“Redundant Sorrow”

Monday, July 02, 2012

     I have been going through a lot lately, and for the most part, it’s my fault.  I recently lost my job, and I had to move out of my apartment into a cheaper one (which I still don’t know how I’m going to pay for because I still haven’t found another job).  I’m starting to feel depressed and lonely; the sad part is that I still haven’t even told my family about the job loss.  I really don’t want anyone judging me.  I have two questions I would like to ask.  First question: does God forgive you for making the same mistake over and over again even when you know it’s wrong?  I know that I shouldn’t do certain things, but I do anyway; that’s what gets me into trouble.  Second question: I feel really horrible about the things I have done, and I just don’t know what to do with myself; am I supposed to feel this way?  I just want to start fresh and make things right with God, so I may live a happy and blessed life.

Sincerely,
Want A Do-Over

Dear Want A Do-Over,

There are two pieces to the puzzle of repetitive sins:

1. How many times can I ask for forgiveness for the same sin?
2. How do I remove this sin from my life, so I can start living without guilt, fear, and pain?

The answer to the first part is simple. You can ask for forgiveness an innumerable amount of times. Christ told Peter that we should forgive ‘seventy times seven’ (Matt 18:21-22). Paul was forgiven of his sins even after killing christians and actively persecuting the church (1 Tim 1:16). As often as we truly repent, God is ready to forgive (Lk 17:4). It is quite possible to truly repent of something and then find yourself doing that same thing not minutes later. It happens in arguments all the time! You say something mean, apologize, then find yourself upset again, and again use rash words. The repeating of the cycle is not necessarily an indication of false sorrow.

However, the second part of your question deals with stopping this cycle. God will forgive you for stumbling again into the same sin, but only if you are truly attempting to change your mind. Paul reminds us that we are to do everything we can to flee from the slavery to sin (Rom 6:1-2, Rom 6:12-13). Without knowing what sin you are caught up in, I can’t give specific advice, but I recommend getting help if it is as consuming as you say. Many sins can become addictions that are very hard to break. Here are some things to consider:

1. Are you trying to change all on your own? God says two are stronger than one (Eccl 4:9-10). In the case of sin like pornography, many people try and struggle through it alone without seeking help because of the shame involved in it becoming known. This rarely, if ever, works. Telling someone, even just one trusted friend, and using things like Covenant Eyes accountability software can make all the difference in such circumstances.
2. Are you putting yourself in compromising situations? People with drug and alcohol addictions are often tempted back into their old habits by drinking buddies or parties where drugs are made available. You may need to cut off certain people and habits from your life in order to escape that sort of sin. Remember, Christ said it would be better to remove even your own hand if it would free you from a sin (Matt 5:30).

Removing sin from our lives is a constant struggle. God is ready to forgive you ‘seventy times seven’ as you fight to defeat sin, but you must look yourself in the mirror and make sure you are taking the steps necessary to change your life.

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