“Love For The Unrepentant Pt. 2”

Saturday, July 14, 2012

[This question is a follow-up to “Love For The Unrepentant”.]

     I can see how I got the concept of forgiveness confused, but there's one thing unanswered on a statement made by that brother.  How would forgiving the unrepentant person be considered superseding God?  Am I in the act of blasphemy when doing this?  Would I be breaking a command of God?  How will I know if the person really repented, or if they're only saying it without actually doing the works?  I need further understanding because this is what recently led me to question my faith and possibly consider departing from the church of Christ.

Sincerely,
Forgive Or Forget

Dear Forgive Or Forget,

If we forgive someone that is obviously unrepentant, then we are doing exactly what the brethren in 1 Cor 5 did that got them into so much trouble.  1 Cor 5 tells of a brother that had his father’s wife and was flaunting the sin.  The Corinthian brethren weren’t mourning or worked up over this sin; they just let it go (1 Cor 5:1-2).  Their willingness to cancel the sin without dealing with the sin got them into a lot of trouble with God!

However, we emphasize the words obviously unrepentant because there are many times when people do change their behavior, do feel sorry about what they’ve done, and yet, don’t specifically say, “I’m sorry”.  For example, a husband yells at his wife but then later comes back into the house with flowers.  Technically, he never apologized, but the gesture and behavior make it clear that he is repentant.

It is areas like this where we must be careful to give others the benefit of the doubt.  After all, love hopes all things (1 Cor 13:7).  Though there are times when we can turn a blind eye to sin and cause a lot of problems, it is also important that we not think the worst of people.  If someone apologizes, we should take their word for it unless actions clearly show otherwise.  Also, sometimes people’s actions show their repentance, and we should be ready to forgive even if we don’t receive the type of apology we might have hoped for.

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