“Big Brother Is Watching”

Monday, August 20, 2012

Are there any scriptures in the Bible to give clues as to why parents of multiple children tend to be hardest on the oldest child, and how can we as parents avoid this pattern?

Sincerely, Multiple Children

Dear Multiple Children,

Your question assumes that being “hard” on children is a bad thing. The Scriptures, in fact, seem to emphasize the opposite. There is only one verse that cautions parents against frustrating their children (Col 3:21); provoking children is definitely wrong. Yet there are many, many verses encouraging parents to firmly train up their children in the way of the Lord.

1. If we love our children, we chasten them (Pr 13:24).
2. Train your child and prepare them for the future (Pr 22:6).
3. Don’t withhold spanking your child (Pr 23:13).
4. Children that aren’t punished bring shame (Pr 29:15).
5. Children are to be taught obedience (Eph 6:1, Col 3:20).
6. Parents that discipline are worthy of reverence (Heb 12:9)

This isn’t to say that parents can’t be too hard on kids, but the tendency of society is typically the opposite. We are far more likely to indulge the foolish behavior of children than we are to take the time to train and chasten them. It is inconvenient to raise godly children. The key is to train them based off of the Scriptures and not out of anger or convenience. When the Scriptures are the guide to parenting, we are much more likely to be consistent with all of our children. God is a fair and just parent (Pr 11:1), and the more we study how He disciplines and loves us the better parents we become (Heb 12:6-8).

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