“The 'End' In 'Friend'”

Friday, September 14, 2012

I had a falling out with a childhood friend after decades of friendship.  I had been a support to this friend through a painful divorce, financial issues, and helping him find his way. In the end, this friendship turned out to be destructive.  I finally stood up for myself and told him that I just couldn't do this anymore. What I didn't expect was a profane and a rather violent verbal response. I was shocked!  Since this time, I have prayed to God for healing and understanding. I have come a long way in this process, but I have a question. You see, I've reached out to this person in forgiveness ... peace ... and attempted to understand where he is coming from.  I feel God wants us to live in PEACE and FORGIVENESS, so that is what I've tried to do.  My question is: what would God have us do when we reach out in peace and forgiveness, and it is only met with hostility and more anger?  I would like to know what it is that God expects of us when things like this happens in our lives.  I have forgiven him for the hatefulness and unkind words (even though he didn't ask for forgiveness)... but do I continue to seek out peace or let it go and just let God work on it?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Mending Fences

Dear Mending Fences,

You do what you can, and then you let it go.  God says that “as much as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Rom 12:18).  You must do everything that you can to mend the wounds of your friendship, and then leave the rest to God.  “As much as depends on you” means that not everything does depend on you.  All relationships with other human beings are two-way streets.  If you have tried sincerely, honestly, and completely to do your part to make things work… you’ve done your part.

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