“Dead-Beat Dad”

Thursday, October 04, 2012

I have a friend that is a christian, but the father of her child is not.  They no longer date, but she still cares for him.  He will not work or spend time with his child.  He does not give the child financial support.  He studied the Bible for a short time but lost interest because nothing changed in his life.  Apart from her own interests, she still wants to be with him for the child's sake.  He wants to control her and does not want her to date other guys.  He becomes very upset when she dates christian guys.  What does the Bible say about their relationship? And what advice can I give her according to the Bible?

Sincerely,
Aiding A Friend

Dear Aiding A Friend,

As we often say when we answer these types of questions – we here at AYP will avoid the details of the personal aspect of this question and deal primarily with the Bible one.  There is no quick and easy answer for the personal side that can be addressed through a website.  These kinds of problems take godly friends, faith, and time to sort out.

The emotional baggage involved with this situation is sticky, but the Bible facts are simple.  She is not married to this man and has ZERO responsibility to date/court/marry someone that meets his approval.  An ungodly man disliking godly choices is nothing new (Jhn 3:20).  Without dwelling upon the past choices that led her to having a child with a man she is not married to, it is fair to say that she will only find a good life for herself and her child if she makes better choices… godly choices (Gal 6:7-9).  She needs to begin sowing a better life for herself.  The only hope she has of finding a life that is good for herself (and for her child – Pr 22:6) is to begin to fear God and keep His commandments above all else (Ps 111:10).  Only when we prize God above all other relationships do we succeed in life.  Serving Christ often brings great strife into our lives, but ultimately it bears the fruit of long-term peace (Gal 5:22).  Even though it sets us at odds with those around us, including loved ones, we must press on and endure, so that we might be found worthy of Christ (Matt 10:34-38).  Christianity is about making Bible choices regardless of how hard they might seem.

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