“Working On Work Friendships”

Saturday, January 19, 2013

My problem is with a co-worker.  She always has some issue, and as a Christian, I do my best to help her, especially since she has told me she has re-dedicated her life to Christ.  The problem is, I have come to believe she is narcissistic.  I do feel for her and try to be positive and encourage her, but everyone who knows her is constantly on eggshells.  I work in a small office, and there is no way to try and avoid her when she is on her rampage.  I really need advice on what I should do.  Do I distance myself from her, or do I continue to believe that God will heal her?  I want to be there for her.  I know she had a terrible childhood, but she does upset me and honestly frightens me at times.

Sincerely,
Across The Hall

Dear Across The Hall,

Biblical love does what is in the best interest of someone else.  When we love others, we always give them what they need… even if what they need isn’t the same as what they want.  Love rejoices in the truth (1 Cor 13:6); that means that love does what is right, not what is easy.  When this co-worker “rampages”, it is easy to avoid the conflict like others have.  The hard thing to do is to kindly and honestly say, “This is unacceptable behavior, and we cannot build our friendship off of this foundation.”  Confronting someone is sometimes the right and loving thing to do.  Do it with dignity and tact.  If she really is placing her faith in Christ, she should be willing to alter her behavior to imitate Him (1 Cor 11:1).  Real friends wound, so others can heal (Pr 27:6).

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