“Tabloid Talk”

Friday, March 01, 2013

A youth pastor is going to different families in the church and saying that he thinks two particular teens are having a homosexual relationship.  He has not talked to the youths themselves or their parents.  What kind of action would you suggest be taken in regards to this youth pastor?

Sincerely,
Not A Gossip Girl

Dear Not A Gossip Girl,

Homosexuality is a sin (Rom 1:26-27), and to slander someone with such an accusation is a heinous crime indeed.  We are never to gossip or slander people (Pr 10:18, 2 Tim 3:3).  The Scriptures teach that if we believe someone is living a sinful lifestyle, we should talk to them individually first before escalating the issue and exposing their sin to others (Matt 18:15-17).  There are multiple reasons for this:

1. You might be wrong and have misunderstood the situation.
2. Individual confrontation keeps a situation as private as possible and, therefore, allows people to save face.
3. It avoids gossip and making a situation larger than it needs to be.
4. God says to do it this way (most importantly!).

This “youth pastor” (that title alone tells us there are further problems at your congregation – we recommend you read “What’s In A Name?” and “Elders”) is completely wrong in not confronting the individuals personally.  If he is right, then their souls hang in the balance.  If he is wrong, then the situation could be corrected privately the way God intends.

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