“A Divided Heart”

Sunday, March 24, 2013

A couple of years back, I started working for a company that was directed by my mom's husband.  That's not my father; they divorced when I was younger.  My mom left my dad because of an affair with this other guy, and I grew up with my dad but spent plenty of holidays with mom and her husband.  Naturally, I got a little fond of them and their kids, but when I was older, I became aware of how it hurt my dad that I would want to spend time with them when I had the choice.  He never blamed me but told me a little about what he felt on occasion when the conversation covered certain things significantly related.  Anyway, now I've been working in the company for a while, and although I've had pressure to leave to honour my dad, I never left and instead asked other people what they thought.  They all said they didn't think it was dishonourable.  But recently, again, I've had the feeling that it was breaking one of God's commandments, and I heard the story of a Welsh revivalist (Evan Roberts, I think) whose messages were very simple, and one of the four points was to 'get rid of grey areas'. This is CERTAINLY a grey area for me, and I'm not at all sure whether I'm breaking the commandment or not, but, I feel that probably I am, so even if I am not sure about breaking the commandment or not, I AM SURE this is a grey area!  So... my question is, do you know of any Bible texts that can clarify how I can know if grey areas should really be addressed?  If you have any idea about the commandment and what you think is happening here, that would be great, too… I know my salvation is at stake here; please help.

Sincerely,
The Good Kid

Dear The Good Kid,

The Bible specifically addresses gray areas in Rom 14.  There are two major factors to consider in areas of opinion:

1. If what you are doing causes other christians to fall away or stumble, then you must stop (Rom 14:13) – this is not very applicable to your situation because nobody is going to fall away because you work for your stepfather.
2. It can't be something that bothers your conscience.  Rom 14:23 says "But he that doubts is condemned if he eats, because he eats not of faith; and whatsoever is not of faith is sin."  Working for your stepfather's company isn't a sin, and isn't necessarily dishonoring your biological father... but if you feel that it is wrong and inappropriate, you should quit.

Obviously, it is the second factor that is going to be the most difficult for you.  Anyone that tells you that working for your stepfather is doctrinally wrong is feeding you a line.  However, you must examine yourself and consider what you feel comfortable with.  Life is difficult because it is impossible to get rid of all gray areas.  It takes self-examination and wisdom to wade through those choices and discern between good and evil (Heb 5:14).

Share