“On Ice”

Saturday, April 27, 2013

I am a teenager, and I believe that I am in love with my boyfriend. Because I am religious, my boyfriend understands that I cannot have sex until marriage, and he respects that.  But I have a question about what we are allowed to do.  We kiss and hug.  But sometimes, we perform sexual acts, such as touching and rubbing.  I am not sure if such acts are sinful.  I am worried about committing something bad that I am unaware of.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Hands Off?

Dear Hands Off,

There is a difference between romantic acts and sexual acts… and sexual acts are for marriage only.  There is a line between a gentle kiss of affection and a lustful kiss of sexual appetite.  Until marriage, it is important that you and your boyfriend avoid lustful situations altogether.  Paul told Timothy to “flee youthful lusts” (2 Tim 2:22), and 1 Thess 4:5 warns against the “passions of lust”.  Don’t defile the beauty of the marriage bed (Heb 13:4) by jumping into lustful activities before your vows.  The reason you are so worried is because you know what a dangerous and emotional game you and your boyfriend are caught up in.  You are playing with fire.  If you do get married, there will be many blissful and happy years to enjoy each others’ physical attentions… and if he isn’t the one, you won’t later regret keeping yourself pure for your husband.

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