“On The Tip Of My Tongue”

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Is it okay to deceive someone if it is the only way they will even begin an open discussion with you (e.g. telling someone that you agree with or understand their values when you truly do not because you know that unless you tell them that, there will be no way they will have a constructive conversation with you)?

Sincerely,
Feigned Interest

Dear Feigned Interest,

It is never okay to lie (Rev 21:8), but you don’t have to lie to be diplomatic.  Jesus tells us to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves when interacting with mankind (Matt 10:16).  Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean that you can’t kindly ask to understand their position.  Wise men seek understanding (Pr 24:3), and friendships are built by being honest and gracious with your words (Pr 22:11).

Trying to balance being gracious with being forthright can be tricky, but it is possible.  Learning to have our words “seasoned with grace” is a lifetime education (Col 4:6).

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