“The Lazy Disease”

Friday, January 03, 2014

My wife and I have been married seven years.  She has a son in his early forties from a previous marriage.  He has had a roller coaster lifestyle.  He does not like to live by the rules.  He gets help for addiction to drugs and alcohol, does well for a while, and then falls back to his old ways.  She wants to continue to help him, and I think we should stop helping and let him grow up.  Now his girlfriend is pregnant and due soon. Neither of them has a job or income.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Step-Dad

Dear Step-Dad,

The Bible solution is simple to say, but hard to do.  It is hard because when you do what the Bible says, your son will whine and cry and beg and manipulate and cajole and scream and… you get the idea.  The Bible simply says, “If a man will not work, neither let him eat” (2 Thess 3:10).  The most loving thing you can do for this man is to let him see what it is like to live without a safety net – no more hand holding, no more free money, and no more free rides.  When people figure out that they need to work in order to eat… they start working.  He won’t starve; there are thousands of food banks across America.  He won’t freeze; there are thousands of shelters across America.  He will learn to stand on his own two feet.  By no longer subsidizing his bad behavior, you and your wife can give him the gift of an actual life.

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