“No Remorse”

Monday, December 14, 2015

How do you forgive someone if they have not asked for forgiveness and/or if they act as though they are not in error?  I've heard some say you should simply be ready to forgive.  I know I should not have ill will or resentful feelings, but how can I forgive if forgiveness has not been requested?  We are only forgiven by God when we request it....

 

Sincerely,
Apology Acceptor

Dear Apology Acceptor,

Depending on the situation, you may or may not forgive the person (more on this further down), but no matter what: you can’t, absolutely CAN’T, treat the person poorly or allow bitterness to engulf you.  Whether you forgive someone or not, we are all to love even our enemies (Lk 6:27) and treat them with kindness and love.  Furthermore, bitterness of heart is a disease that is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to suffer (Heb 12:15).

With that said, here are some things to consider with forgiveness.  You have to forgive all christians (Matt 18:35).  If they are good enough for God to forgive, they are good enough for you to forgive.  If the person is not a christian, you may find that they are purposefully continuing to harm you and abuse you.  If this is the case, it is fair to say that you do not need to forgive them, but you do still need to love them.  God is willing to forgive when we repent, but ready to forgive is different than actually forgiving (Ps 86:5).  Another factor to consider is that Jesus asked God to forgive people who were crucifying Him.  “Forgive them for they know not what they do”(Lk 23:34) is a very powerful statement.  Jesus made it clear that oftentimes people do the wrong thing out of ignorance.  If they had only known, they would have acted differently.  It is always a good idea to give people the benefit of the doubt.   If in doubt, forgiveness is always a better option.

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