“Showing Your Age”

Thursday, August 04, 2016

I am an adult child, 21-years-old and still live at home while in school.  Do I still have to obey my parents and the rules of their home?  Why can't I do as I please?  I'm 21-years-old; aren't I old enough to make my own rules?

Sincerely,
All Grow’d Up

Dear All Grow’d Up,

You are definitely old enough to make your own rules – go ahead and move out; embrace your freedom!  Though it is natural for parents to provide more independence to their children as they age, total self-rule will only come when you leave your parents’ home and become self-sufficient.  It is akin to the statement about marriage: when a couple “leaves and cleaves”, they are their own family unit (Matt 19:5).  Though you aren’t pursuing marriage, the same principle applies.  Leave the house and start your own home if you want to dictate your own rules.  You have a responsibility to honor your parents for the gift of free rent, food, etc. – not to mention the gift of life they gave you (Lk 18:20).

The transition from child to adulthood is always a strain upon the parent/child relationship.  The Scriptures promise that if you are careful with how you treat your parents in this transitional time, you will be blessed (Eph 6:2-3).

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