“Dangerous Hearts”

Monday, April 10, 2017

(This question is a follow-up to “Dangerous Minds”)

A while back, I wrote to you and told you about a problem I was having repeating bad things against God in my head.  It went away for a while, and now it has gotten worse.  I got paranoid that I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit, and I started to look up on the internet what it meant.  I became obsessed with it, and it seemed like I was on the computer everyday.  There were people on there that were saying good things and horrible things about it.  My problem is that I repeated those things in my mind, and the Bible says there is no forgiveness for that.  I did so much that now I am paranoid to even yawn because I am afraid that the words I am speaking in my head will come out of my mouth.  I have never said any of these things out loud or whispered them or anything like that.  I am worried because a couple of times I did have my mouth open, like while I was yawning or something, and in my head, I said the words.  I have asked God over and over for forgiveness, and I talked to other christians about this, including a couple of pastors, and they have all told me that I have not committed this, and I am forgiven because I asked God to.  My problem is I can't feel forgiven within myself.  I do not believe the things I said in my head, and I don't want God to send me to hell.  Can you help me?

Sincerely,
Paranoid

Dear Paranoid,

The problem isn’t with whether or not you can be forgiven – the problem is that you don’t feel forgiven.  The two issues are very different.  You already agreed that many people have told you that what you have been doing isn’t the sin against the Holy Spirit (read “The Unpardonable Sin” to see what the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit really is).  There are times when our head and our heart aren’t on the same page.  Guilt can drive someone crazy if they don’t learn to keep things in proper perspective.  God says that your heart can be wrong.  You feel that you can’t be forgiven, but the Bible says you can.  It is very similar to the problem that the apostle Paul faced.  Paul had murdered christians and felt that he was the worst of the worst, but he learned that Jesus would forgive him (1 Tim 1:15-16).

The apostle John said it best, “By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.” (1 Jhn 3:19-20).  Your act of faith is going to be letting go of your fears and trusting that living by God’s Word is what matters (Rom 10:17).  Sometimes, our feelings can be fickle and wrong, and we’ve got to ignore them until time and life change them.

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