“Living A Lie”

Monday, August 07, 2017

I'm married with a family.  I have had feelings for men since I was younger.  I still do.  I've acted upon them a few times while married.

I don't want a divorce, but I’m not sure I can handle the situation (and be faithful from here on out).

I am so tired...tired of being tired.

I'm to the point, sometimes, I just wish something bad would happen to me, so I don't have to face the situation...and that scares me.

What do I do?

Sincerely,
Struggling Husband

Dear Struggling Husband,

Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon a lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may in fact have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

Nobody is forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if someone is born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – they aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice.  There is always a way of escape from sin.

Which brings us to our advice.  Your desire for men is exactly the same as any other addiction – and needs treatment.  There are groups that will help treat those trying to leave homosexual lifestyles (we would be happy to help get you in contact with a counselor near you).  It is possible to stop.  In fact, Paul noted that some of the christians of the first century used to be homosexuals (1 Cor 6:9-11).  The bottom line ­– you don't have to be homosexual!  You can lead a life of fulfillment and holiness as God intended, a life far better than what you have experienced so far.

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