“Long Month, Short Cash”

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

My question is about tithing.  I was faithful to tithe 10% of my income since I was a teenager with my first job.  Through utter foolishness and some things that happened out of our control, my family is in such debt that our payments and fees for all our bills and debts leave us overdrawn multiple times throughout the month (pitiful, we have a very good income and both work full-time).  We have over-extended ourselves, sometimes to take care of necessities, sometimes out of buying things that we don't really need, but we also aren't really in the lap of luxury either.  We've had no vacations, etc. but definitely have overspent, too.  I'm so sorry, and I repent, but now we are drowning in debt.  We have three wonderful girls, and they are going to be affected in many ways, and I feel terrible.  The worst is that we haven't been tithing because of the money issues and because there is not the 10% available, so I have been doing nothing as opposed to giving a pitiful offering when we make such a good income.  At the same time, we haven't been curbing our spending much except for when the money runs out.  I recently read something about how this kind of thing is "trading freedom for luxury", and we are guilty of that.  There is some kind of disconnect for me between my thinking and reality.  We have had a lot of monetary disasters, too, like engines going out in cars, etc.

I have two questions: are we still supposed to tithe 10% like the Old Testament mentions (believe me, I would give Him more if I wasn't in this position), or are we under "give as you are able, and give cheerfully"?  There are so many varying viewpoints out there on what the Bible says we should be doing now under the New Covenant.  I WANT to tithe; I'm not looking for an excuse not to, but the guilt of not giving 10% combined with the stress of running out of money throughout the month (plus interest, plus late fees, plus overdrawn fees) is killing me.  Unless God does a miracle, we have no way out of this mess because the minimum payment pays nothing down, and we have NO extra money to make extra payments on anything.

So, my second question is: will you please PRAY for my family that God will provide some kind of ability for us to repay this debt?  We have always paid our bills, and I don't even want to think of bankruptcy because to me, that is like stealing.  I know we got ourselves here, and there are consequences for our sin, but I also know that God has compassion on us and doesn't want us to be in bondage.

Thank you so very much!  This is a great forum; I appreciate you offering this!  We are local folks, so knowing that someone from here is willing to address these kinds of questions is a huge blessing.

Sincerely,
Drowning

Dear Drowning,

Let’s answer the second question first: yes, we most definitely will pray for you.  Financial burdens are a huge weight to bear, and having counseled many couples over the years through financial hardships, we know what a toll it takes on a marriage, self-esteem, spiritual growth, families, and thousands of other aspects of life.  We appreciate your attitude and desire to do what is right – an honest approach to one’s shortcomings is refreshing in today’s society.

Now back to the first question… tithing is an Old Testament commandment (Num 18:24), not a New Testament one.  Jews tithe; christians “lay by in store as we have prospered” (1 Cor 16:1-3).  God doesn’t give a specific percentage that christians should give back.  We must prepare beforehand what we will give (that’s the “lay by in store” part – 1 Cor 16:2).  He also commands that we be “cheerful givers” and that we give as we have “purposed in our hearts” (2 Cor 9:7).  Though tithing, which means ‘one tenth’, is a good rule of thumb for giving… it isn’t a command.

Any church that tells you that you have to give 10% is warping the Scriptures to increase your contribution.  Giving should be a sacrifice – but a voluntary one based off of thoughtful contemplation.  Your family needs to begin to budget appropriately and make some difficult financial decisions.  In that process, you can take an introspective look at your finances and decide what you can cheerfully give without endangering your family (1 Tim. 5:8) while still feeling comfortable that you aren’t neglecting the Lord’s work.

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