“Water Under The Bridge”

Monday, October 29, 2018

Hi.  I have a huge longing to repent and change my life.  One of the things holding me back is that I am afraid that if I take this new road that I will have to admit to people (that I love dearly) all the injustices I committed towards them, and this will hurt them dearly and for sure cause our relationships to deteriorate.  Is this part of the forgiveness process?  Is it a question of forgiving myself and asking God for forgiveness, or will I have to admit my sin to those that it might hurt?

Thank you and I hope that you can help.

Sincerely,
Ashamed

Dear Ashamed,

We must confess all of our sins to God (1 Jn 1:9) and be prepared to get help with our faults from other christians (Jas 5:16). When James talks about confessing sins to each other, he is talking in the context of prayer. His point is that when someone prays for you as you struggle with sin, that prayer will make an immense difference. He is not stating that you have to announce every single sin you have ever committed to each and every christian you meet.

There are definitely times to tell another person about your sin.

1. If you have sinned against them, you must admit it and ask for forgiveness (Lk 17:3-4).
2. If you believe the knowledge of your previous sin will help them (1 Tim 1:15-16).
3. If you are struggling with a sin and need help (Jas 5:16, Eccl 4:9).
4. If it would be deceptive to not reveal the sin (1 Jhn 1:8).

All of those situations constitute an appropriate time to confess your sins to another person. God doesn’t call us to parade our past sins before all we meet, but there is a time to own up to our faults before both man and God.  Now, it is also important to remember that confessing your sins is only part of the process of becoming a christian – if you have not yet done the five steps God gives us to become a christian, we recommend you read "Five Steps To Salvation".

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