“Fumbling Through Grief”

Thursday, January 02, 2020

     My wife’s grandmother passed away a few months ago.  They were very close.  My wife came from a Baptist family.  When we met, I was able to show her the truth, and now she is a member of the Church; my heart was broken when she looked at me and asked me, "Is it wrong for me (my wife) to think my grandmother is in heaven?”  I didn't know what to say.  We both know what the Bible says, and we know that no matter what, what we would like to believe is irrelevant.  The Bible still says we must be baptized.  How can I answer a question my wife already knows the answer to?  Does that make any sense?  What would you recommend the best way to word this answer?  It's much harder than I thought.

Sincerely,
Compassionate Husband

Dear Compassionate Husband,

Mourning is such a difficult process because grief isn’t logical; it is emotional.  The fact is that you don’t have to give your wife an answer at this time; sometimes the best comfort is what Job’s friends provided him with – quiet companionship (Job 2:13).  Sometimes all you need to say is, “I can’t imagine how much you are hurting at this time” and leave it at that.

However, if your wife looks for a more in-depth answer, God says that He finds no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezek 33:11).  That tells you that God will not send anyone to hell by accident, from spite, or out of malicious intent.  Anyone who ends up in hell really, truly belongs there, and all those who are meant to be in heaven will be there.  When your wife’s grandmother faces God on the Day of Judgment, God will make the right decision concerning her fate.  There is some comfort in knowing that God will not make any mistakes.

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