Is there any particular order that church services are to occur in?  In some congregations I've been to, the Lord's Supper is at the end of the sermon, but most other congregations I have attended have it prior to the sermon.  Is there an example of how church services should be conducted down to this detail in the New Testament, or is this up to the leaders of the congregation?

Sincerely,
Out Of Order

Dear Out Of Order,

There is no particular order that services must occur in – only particular elements that need to be included.  The Bible gives us examples and commands for five different elements to the public worship.

1. Teaching/Preaching (1 Cor 4:17)
2. Singing (Eph 5:19)
3. Prayer (Acts 12:5)
4. Taking A Collection – Sunday only (1 Cor 16:1-2)
5. Lord’s Supper – Sunday only (Acts 20:7)

Of these five elements, two of them are specifically allowed only on Sundays.  The others can be done any time the brethren get together.  God is specific that these are the things He wants us to do, however, He never stipulates what order He wants them done in.  Every Bible command has specific elements and general elements to them.  For example, Noah was told to build the ark out of a specific type of wood – gopher wood (Gen 6:14) – but he was free to use whatever tools or procedures he liked to collect that wood because God wasn’t specific about that detail.  In the case of worship, God is specific on what elements He wants, but He leaves what time of day to meet, arrangement of pews, order of services, which songs to lead, and other details up to us.

The preacher of my church resigned. The last Sunday he was there, he brought another preacher and told us he was our new preacher and that he had the right to do this whether we liked it or not.  Us members of the church thought that we had to vote him in for him to become our preacher.  Can he do this without the members voting on him?  We don't know a thing about this man except he is our used-to-be-preacher’s brother-in-law.  We don't know what we are supposed to pay him or nothing.  He just took the job, and that’s it.  Weren't we supposed to vote on him as members of the church?

Sincerely,
Under New Management

Dear Under New Management,

Every congregation is commended to God’s Word, and that is what has charge over them (Acts 14:23).  All congregations must be very careful whom they allow in their pulpit.  It is each churches’ responsibility to keep false teachers at bay (2 Tim 4:3-4).  No one has a right to force his way into the pulpit.

In fact, the apostle John dealt with a situation where someone tried to take control of a congregation.  Diotrephes loved to have power and be honored in the church (3 Jn 1:9); he also loved to kick people out of the church that disagreed with him (3 Jn 1:10).  The apostle John made it very clear that he would punish and expose Diotrephes for that behavior.  Your congregation has the right and the responsibility to choose your own preacher… one that follows and teaches God’s Word.

Why can't women become preachers or lead songs for that matter? Would it be a sin?

Sincerely,
A Woman’s Role

Dear A Woman’s Role,

Women have a zillion different roles and responsibilities within the church; leading singing and preaching aren’t on the list. Women are not supposed to be in authority over men within the church (1 Tim 2:11-12). Men are supposed to lead the congregation in teaching and worship when the congregation assembles together (1 Cor 14:34-35). Women and men have equal value in God’s eyes (1 Pet 3:7), but their roles are different (1 Cor 11:8-10). Yes, it would be a sin for a woman to be a preacher. Society doesn’t like that statement, but the Bible makes it nonetheless.

Can a woman continue to teach a baptized christian boy after he is baptized?

Sincerely, Age Appropriate

Dear Age Appropriate,

Baptism doesn’t make you a man; it makes you a christian. The Scriptures are clear about a woman teaching a man – she can’t do it (1 Tim. 2:12). Your question doesn’t deal with a woman teaching a man. Instead, it is addressing when a male becomes a man. That issue is a much more difficult one because there is no exact answer. There are two parts to your question:

1. When do we recognize a boy as a man?
2. What should a congregation do in order to have harmony when a boy is baptized?

The first question is easily answered – I don’t know. The Scriptures never say. Society recognizes 18 as adult enough to be considered completely responsible for oneself. Even that is just an arbitrary number. In reality, every child matures at a different rate, and there is no magic moment of transition from childhood to adulthood. Everyone agrees a 10 year old is a child and a 20 year old is an adult, but it is the ages in between that leave us scratching our heads.

The second question is an issue of dealing with opinions. Realistically, when a young person is baptized, some will consider him or her an instant adult; others will recognize it as a decision that shows maturity but not adulthood. Consequently, in the case of a boy, a congregation will have some that feel he can no longer have a woman Bible class teacher, and others will think it is still appropriate. Both views are an opinion, and we can’t stand hard and fast on either view. Rom 14:13 says that in such cases, we should do whatever will not cause division or hurt anyone’s conscience. If the congregation is being torn apart by a woman teaching a newly baptized boy, put him in a different class with a male teacher. If a woman has been teaching him and no longer feels she can do it in clear conscience, she should be allowed to recuse herself as his teacher. No matter what, in issues of opinion, peace and edification should be sought above all else (Rom 14:19). Wisdom will have to be used to decide what is the best course in each circumstance.

My girlfriend is a fairly new christian. She is wonderful!!! How can I encourage her to pray more often and think more on godly things without pressuring her and pushing her away? It seems that I am always the one who is bringing those things up, and I don't want to force things on her.

Sincerely, Forcefully Concerned

Dear Forcefully Concerned,

Gentle patience is the key to helping her grow. Paul told the young Thessalonian church that he was as patient and gentle as a mother (1 Thess 2:7-8). Don’t expect her to know everything right away- nor to remember everything the first time she learns it. Christianity is a huge change in someone’s life, and everyone grows in different areas and at different paces. Kindness and brotherly love will work wonders in helping her grow (Rom 12:10). Make sure you remain a humble servant and not a condescending overlord (1 Pet 5:5)

After you have mentally prepared, make some consistent opportunities to talk about spiritual things. The church is told that consistency is a large part of what makes healthy christians (Heb. 10:24-25). Regular involvement in praying together, going to services together, etc. provides opportunity for dialogue. She needs to be taking Bible classes (so do you!), and committing to take some classes together will help her grow without placing undo pressure on her. Christian growth isn’t about speed… but endurance. Babies grow slowly and steadily; if they grew fast, it would be unhealthy! Talk to her about taking some useful ‘beginner’ Bible classes together, and she will start to grow from the milk of the Word (1 Pet 2:2).