Our preacher is more involved with a local civic organization than he is in growing our local church.  We don't have elders, and many of the men are also members of the civic group.  I find this to be a contradiction in service, but he says that there are things the church isn't authorized to do that this group can, like caring for needy non-saints.  But if more time is spent with that group than with our own, can that be right?

Sincerely,
Second Best

Dear Second Best,

There isn’t anything wrong with Christians (and preachers are just Christians, too) with being involved with philanthropic work outside of the church, but that doesn’t mean that a balance isn’t important.  Gal 6:10 says that we should do good to all men, but especially the church.  The church should receive the first of our labors because it is our eternal family in Christ… but that doesn’t mean we should neglect doing good to all.  We can’t speak to the balance the men in your congregation are having in their lives, but we can tell you this isn’t a matter of right and wrong; it is a matter of wisdom.  On a positive note, we can think of worse problems than good people struggling over what good work to do.

     My dad has narcissistic characteristics and arrogant traits.  My whole family has tried to help him over the years, but part of this disorder involves the inability to recognize the problem.  He is also a preacher, and I've heard people from the congregations he visits preaching meetings say that he comes across as arrogant.  I'm very saddened by this situation and don't know what to do to help him.  Please help.

Sincerely,
A Humiliated Child

Dear A Humiliated Child,

Sadly, there isn’t a lot that you can do to help with someone else’s pride issues.  There is a reason that Pr 16:18 says that pride and arrogance lead to destruction and falling down… when you won’t listen to others, you are bound to get yourself into trouble.  Eccl 7:8 says that the patient man wins out against the proud.  That is the best advice we can give you.  If your father is a godly man, eventually, the pride will be removed through the Lord’s discipline (Heb 12:6-7) – give it time.  Humility most often comes through the school of hard knocks.

     I understand that we know each other once we get to heaven.  But do we get to be together?  When my mother dies, and then when I die and am saved and join her up there, will we be around each other?  There are no relationships there, but I'll still remember she was my mother on Earth and want to be around her, right?

Sincerely,
Sweet Child Of Hers

Dear Sweet Child Of Hers,

We don’t know for sure how much interaction we will have with others in heaven, but the Bible seems to point toward us being able to spend quite a bit of time together.  1 Thess 4:17 talks about us being caught up together and forever being with the Lord after the Judgment Day.  Also, Rev 21 compares heaven to a giant, perfect, eternal city where people come in and out and move freely amongst each other and the Lord… this also points toward the idea of us spending time with each other constantly.

The fact is that we don’t know much about heaven; God hasn’t given us many details, but the Scriptures seem to paint a picture of heaven being somewhere that we all freely enjoy company with the Lord and one another.

I have a friend who says he is gay.  I am not sure, but he says he is saved.  Will God still forgive him while he still desires men?  I know what God says, but I am not sure what to say... help.

Sincerely,
Looking For The Words

Dear Looking For The Words,

There is nothing you can tell your friend other than what the Scriptures say.  Homosexuality is completely incompatible with Christianity.  It is impossible to be actively engaged in a homosexual lifestyle and be saved (1 Cor 6:9-11).  Homosexuality is condemned as a sin of vile passion (Rom 1:26-27).  Your friend has the ability, as all of us do, to do what is right even when we don’t feel like it.  He may feel attracted to people of the same gender, but he must make a choice not to act upon it.  The Scriptures warn of the fate that awaits those who will not turn from this sin (Jude 1:7).  If your friend believes that it is okay to live that sort of lifestyle, all you can do is show him the Scriptures, and then he must decide whether he will accept what God says.

If I have denied God to someone, and I am a christian, does it mean I will not spend everlasting life in heaven?

Sincerely,
Mum’s The Word

Dear Mum’s The Word,

A single act of denial will not condemn you to hell, but a lifestyle of denying Christ will.  Christ warns against being someone who will not confess His name before mankind (Matt 10:32-33).  Christ teaches us to be courageous and not timid with our faith (2 Tim 1:7).  Peter denied Christ three times (Lk 22:34) in a single night, but Peter also later repented and changed his ways (Matt 26:75).  It was a sin for you to deny God.  Repent of that sin, chart a new course of brave faith, and seek God’s forgiveness (Jas 5:15).  If you draw near to God, He will faithfully draw near to you (Jas 4:8).