I'm extremely lonely.  I read somewhere that loneliness is God telling you that you have a problem with relationships.  Is that true?  I pray a lot, and I'm consistently seeking His advice and direction, but I never know if I'm making the right choices.  How does God let me know if my choices are pleasing to Him?

I'm lonely and border-line depressed.  I keep asking God to show me His will for me and what I need to do to please Him, but nothing has changed.  I feel like I'm not going to be happy until He's happy with me, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I'm not saying that I'm perfect by any means, but I just don't know what I'm doing.

Sincerely,
Lonely

Dear Lonely,

Loneliness does not necessarily mean you have a problem with relationships… but it can mean that – we simply can’t tell you one way or the other in your circumstance.  However, we can tell you about whether or not your choices are pleasing to God.

We are pleasing to God when we follow His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  God wants us to live faithfully, and faith is found in God’s Word (Rom 10:17).

One of the commandments that is found in God’s Word is that we need to assemble with other christians (Heb 10:24-25).  If you are not doing this, this is an important part of serving God… and will probably help immensely with your loneliness.  Not all churches are the same – many churches don’t teach the truth.  It is very important that you find a faithful church to meet with.  We would be happy to help you find one; simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

A few things confuse me.  If we are supposed to view the world as temporary and Heaven as our final home, why should we even try to do things that earn recognition in the world?  Why does everyone strive to be "successful"?  Why don't we focus on simple things like loving each other and being happy instead of stuff like obtaining credentials and other social honors ultimately to make money and buy more and more worldly possessions?  Why do we even pray about world-related stuff if we should only care about pleasing God and inheriting His kingdom?  Why do we not want to die even though if we're saved, we’ll go to Heaven?

Sincerely,
Not Climbing The Ladder

Dear Not Climbing The Ladder,

Solomon says that God wants to bless us in this life as well as the next (Eccl 2:24).  True, heaven will be far better (Php 1:23), but it is normal to enjoy the blessings of this life.  In fact, if we are christians, we are to work hard at all we do (Col 3:23).  Working hard brings success, and success brings honor.  There is nothing wrong with success unless it tears us away from Christ.  Covetousness, greed, and selfishness are wrong (Col 3:5, 1 Tim 6:10) and should always be avoided, but it is possible to be successful and still avoid those vices.  Even Jesus prayed that God would bless us with our daily bread and in our daily lives (Lk 11:3).

The second part of your question addresses the natural human fear of death and attachment to this world.  God has set eternity in our hearts (Eccl 3:11) as well as the desire to live (Ps 23:4).  Most people fear death (or at least aren’t chasing it) because of their natural survival instinct.  There is nothing wrong with that.  This world is where we live and are used to living.  Death is the unknown, and we naturally fear the unknown.

We read in a commentary, I can't remember if it was Dakes or Barkley, that there were four wise men.  The fourth had gifts but kept running into needy people and ended up giving all the gifts away.  When he got to the site, Joseph and Mary with Jesus had already left.  Is there any truth to this?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Four’s A Charm

Dear Four’s A Charm,

No, there is no truth in that.  All the Scriptures ever tell us is that there were wise men... that’s plural (Matt 2:1).  We don’t know whether there were two wise men or two hundred wise men.  The fact that they brought three types of gifts (gold, myrrh, and frankincense – Matt 2:11) does not necessarily mean that there were three men.

In fact, the Scriptures seem to point toward the idea of a multitude of wise men that came from the East.  When the wise men came to Jerusalem, they were a highly noticeable entourage – significant enough for Herod the king to notice them (Matt 2:1-3).  Any commentary that tells you it knows the exact number is going beyond Scriptures and creating an imaginary detail that God never provided.

I have yet another question that I would like to ask.  I have been watching parts of the Jesus of Nazareth movie.  In the movie, Jesus, while on the sermon on the mount, talks about how to pray.  Jesus then says what I think is called the Lord's Prayer.  Before I go to sleep at night after saying my normal everyday prayers, I like to repeat this prayer to God.  Is this okay to do?  I feel like it is okay to do, but I am not sure if it is okay to repeat it... I do mean the words that it says in the prayer; I just wanted to know if that was okay to do.  As always, thanks for your help; God bless!

Sincerely,
The Reiterator

Dear The Reiterator,

We aren’t required to pray the exact words of the Lord’s model prayer (which is found in Matt 6:9-13), but there is nothing wrong with sincerely repeating those words… with one exception.  One of the things that Jesus prayed for in that prayer has already happened.  When Jesus prayed, “Thy kingdom come…”, He was praying that the church would be established.  Jesus’ kingdom, also known as the church, has already come.  That kingdom began on the day of Pentecost when three thousand people were baptized and entered Jesus’ kingdom (Acts 2:37-41).  The apostle Paul said that christians have already entered into the kingdom (Col 1:13).  Therefore, it doesn’t make sense to pray that the kingdom comes.  However, it would be appropriate to pray that the kingdom (church) would expand, grow, and be further established.

Other than that one detail, everything that Jesus said in that prayer is perfectly appropriate today for a christian to pray.