“The Dating Game”

Monday, June 25, 2012

     Is it okay to date a married man if he is in the process of a divorce?

Sincerely,
Interested Party

Dear Interested Party,

He is married.  Married people don’t date anyone but their spouses.  No matter how close he might be to a divorce, or how serious the separation is – he is still married.

Though it is unlikely that he will reconcile with his spouse if he is filing for divorce, he is still married.  If you begin dating, you will be dating a married man.  That looks bad to everyone else, thus tainting your relationship in the eyes of others (Rom 12:17).  Furthermore, it doesn’t just look bad – it is bad.

All of this makes it wrong even without addressing questions like why he is getting divorced, if it’s scriptural, etc.  The fact is that even without those issues, now is not a time to be starting a new relationship.  God designed a husband and wife to work through their marriage problems together (1 Cor 7:10-11)… until those problems are resolved (either by reconciliation or scriptural divorce), he is committed to that relationship.  With all that turmoil involved in divorce, his life and mind are not in a good position to be entering the dating world even if it were appropriate.  Since you truly care for this man, the greatest gift you can give him is to step away and let him get things in order.

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