My husband is a Mason and Shriner and has been for at least twelve years.  During that time, I, too, became an Eastern Star but quit only after a year because it did not feel right.  However, over the years, I have attended Mason functions and Potentate balls with my husband.  However, the more I read the Bible, the more I know that this is idol worship.  Since my husband does not write well, he asks me from time to time to type things for the Masons or Shriners.  I feel uncomfortable doing this and feel that I am participating in this idol worship.  I don't want my husband to feel that I don't want to help him, but I am conflicted.  Please help.

Sincerely,
Uneasy Wife

Dear Uneasy Wife,

You answered your own question when you said, “I feel that I am participating in this idol worship.”  God tells us that anything we can’t do in faith is sin (Rom 14:23).  You are correct; the Masons add to the Scriptures (Rev 22:18-19) and mix the occult with the biblical – it is wrong.

God tells us that we ought not to intermix our lives with idolatry (2 Cor 6:16).  We should flee idolatry and not help it along (1 Cor 10:14).  It is good to support your husband when you can… but this isn’t one of those times.

    What does the Bible mean when it says that it is better for a man to marry than to burn with passion?  I got married, and I am still burning with passion.  I lust all the time, seems that I can’t help it.  I ask God to forgive me every day.  Please pray for me.

Sincerely,
On Fire

Dear On Fire,

1 Cor 7:9 is the verse you are referring to, and it is warning that it is better for a man and woman to marry than to burn for one another.  We will never be able to remove all lusts or sexual temptations from life, but marriage was designed as a safeguard against those temptations.  1 Cor 7:1-5 states that marriage is a God-designed defense against fornication.  Don’t think that by getting married, you miraculously remove all struggles and lusts of the flesh – that isn’t what that verse is dealing with.  1 Cor 7:9 is simply stating that it is better for a man and woman to marry if they find themselves struggling to stay chaste and pure in their courting.

     I know that I cannot change my husband's mind about being a Mason and a Shriner, but I do worry about his salvation.  He reads those books, but never, I mean never, picks up the Bible to read.  I have mentioned to him about reading the Bible as well as the Masonry book, but he does not say anything.  Because of the Masonry and Shriners, he believes that if he works, he can be saved that way.  I have tried to explain to him that we are only saved because of God's grace and that we have to believe in Jesus alone in order to be saved, that our works will not save us.  He is a good man, and I pray for him.  Is there anything else I can do?  If not, would you please pray for him as well?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Worried Wife

Dear Worried Wife,

A Christian should never be a Freemason.  There are those who believe that the two are compatible, but this is typically because they haven’t reached a level of the Masonry organization that reveals the occult and anti-Scripture practices involved in the organization.  Ignorance is the reason for most involvement with Freemasonry, but it isn’t an excuse.  Everyone is responsible for seeking the truth for themselves (Php 2:12) and testing all teaching against Scripture (1 Jn 4:1).

Which brings us to your question – what can you do for your husband?  You can show him Scriptures like Tit 3:5 and Rom 3:27 that teach that we can’t be saved by works or any great acts of virtue – all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23).  However, it sounds like you have done that.  All that is left is to pray for him and let your quiet life of godliness work on his heart (1 Pet 3:1).

     I have a younger group of friends, and I love them, but one of them has already been married, left their spouse, and divorced them (not for scriptural reasons), and I have a second friend who is currently no longer living with their spouse and is going to divorce their spouse (not for scriptural reasons).  It absolutely breaks my heart that they are doing this because marriage is such a blessing, a blessing that God instructed us not to dissolve unless there has been unfaithfulness by a spouse.

Having been at both friends’ weddings, I was a "witness" to their marriage, not to mention I have known them for so long that I want what is the very best for them.  One friend is already divorced (a couple years ago), but what should I do, if anything, about my second friend?  I worry so much for them and what consequences this will bring upon them.

Any advice you have will really help me greatly!  Thank you!

Sincerely,
Struggling Friend

Dear Struggling Friend,

It is such a difficult thing when we see others we love doing that which is so very harmful to their souls.  What does the Bible teach to do in such matters?  Here are a couple of principles to consider:

1. Pr 23:23 says to “Buy the truth, and do not sell it.”  The truth must always be more important to you than anything else, and you can’t compromise the truth and sell it out just to preserve a friendship… no matter how dear they are to you (Lk 14:26).  In no way can you compromise your morals by saying that what they have done is no big deal or somehow okay.  They have chosen to sin – plain and simple.
2. The Bible also teaches that we should have mercy on those that are turning from the Lord and seek to snatch them from the fire and hate the sin at the same time (Jude 23).  Being Christ-like means intertwining both the hatred of sin and the love of man together.
3. You must also be careful to not compromise your own conscience.  If you feel that doing things with them is sending the message that you don’t care about this sin and somehow approve of their decision, then you must obey your own conscience (1 Tim 1:5).  How close or distant to be when a friendship is strained by sinful choices is a matter of wisdom and discretion.  You must decide for yourself what boundaries to set.

Balancing these principles, here are our thoughts.  If you haven’t already, you must make your position known to these friends.  If they were seeking an abortion or some other clear sin, you would address them – divorce for any reason other than adultery is just as clear a sin (Matt 19:9).

You didn’t indicate whether or not these friends are Christians.  If they are, hopefully their congregations will also be addressing them on this issue, and you wouldn’t be the only voice.  If not, you may be the only person that they know who will stand in the gap for their spiritual well-being.  After saying your piece, you can then treat the relationship like any other – watch and use wisdom to decide the boundaries and level of closeness, so you may both snatch them from the fire but not compromise your own firm convictions by being steamrolled by friends that have unfaithful convictions of their own.  Allow your unwavering example to be a blessing, and then let them decide whether or not they want that blessing in their life.

     What should a woman do when she doesn’t cuss, but her husband does?  He will cuss me out, hurt my feelings, and blame everything that goes wrong on me.  I have threatened to leave, and that worked for about a few days.  I just don’t think he loves me as much as I do him, and I am just at the end of my rope.

Sincerely,
Miserable

Dear Miserable,

1 Pet. 3:1-3 says, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

Sometimes, the best thing to do is also the hardest thing to do.  You can’t control his behavior, but you can control yours, and your behavior can win him over.  Don’t behave like he does.  Continue to watch your language, show him unearned respect, and live with pure conduct.  These things work on a man’s heart far more than fighting fire with fire.  Your kindness will heap burning coals upon him and is your best hope at turning his heart (Rom 12:20-21).