Any advice on dating a Baptist preacher?  He’s a widower, and I’m a divorcee.

Sincerely,
Divorcee

Dear Divorcee,

Though all things are possible through Christ, someone who has dedicated their life to a religious denomination that follows tradition over truth would have a difficult road to conversion, and it is well worth talking about the differences upfront.  We recommend you read our post, “Baptist Bewilderment”, and have a discussion with him about the various Baptist teachings that don’t match Scripture before you press forward with your relationship.  You never know; maybe, just maybe, he has never considered these problems before.  With an honest heart, anyone can come to Christ.

    I am worried that my wife is getting burnt out.  We have always tried to involve ourselves in doing good work such as visiting the sick, helping the elderly, cleaning the church building, helping people get to worship who can't drive, etc.  It makes me feel good to do these things.  We have something going on just about every night after we get off work.  My wife said she feels overwhelmed.  My question is: as her husband, is it biblically wrong in any way if I tell her she could slow down?  We are members of the Lord’s church, and just like any congregation, few people are willing to do work.  It makes me happy to help, and I believe it makes the Lord happy.  I just don't want my wife to get burnt out.  Any suggestions or Scripture that may help?

Sincerely,
Concerned Husband

Dear Concerned Husband,

There is a time and season for everything.  Burn out is a real issue, and Solomon said that there is a time for everything – that would include a time to rest (Eccl 3:1-8).  It is good that you are workers in the church, and you shouldn’t stop working, but it may be time to pace yourselves.  After all, Christianity is an endurance race, not a sprint (Lk 21:19).  There is a season for everything, and your wife’s health and well-being must be factored in as you decide what level of work your family can handle.

     I am a Christian separated from my husband who is also a Christian.  We have been separated for three years.  No unfaithfulness has been committed on either part, but there are issues that have not been resolved yet.  I have relocated to another state and am active in my church.  I was asked to accept a leadership role, and I did, but I recently stepped down because my husband said it is not biblical for me to be in leadership with our marriage the way it is.  Is this true?

Sincerely,
Separated

Dear Separated,

We are sorry to hear about your separation, but it sounds like you are handling it the way the Lord intends in such circumstances (1 Cor 7:10-11).  Here is the issue – we don’t know what church you are attending, but biblically there are no official leadership positions for women in the church.  Technically, the only positions of authority within the church are elders and deacons.  The qualifications for both elders and deacons require that they be men (1 Tim 3:1-12).  Any church that is creating leadership positions other than those found in the Bible is adding to the Word of God (Rev 22:18-19).

     Does God bless everyone with a wife?

Sincerely,
Waiting

Dear Waiting,

There are no guarantees regarding marriage.  In a fallen world full of sin, all sorts of tragic things happen… including people living without helpmeets even though they desperately want them.  God offers us comfort in that we can seek Him and His help through prayer (Jas 5:16-18).  God even says that there are advantages to being single, and that our single years can be our most productive spiritually (1 Cor 7:32-34).  Take heart that the Lord watches over those that are His (Jhn 10:14), and you will never be tempted beyond what you are able (1 Cor 10:13).  We can’t guarantee that you will have a wife, but we can tell you that in almost all cases, the right person comes along at the right time.

     What is considered a sin if you are not married?

Sincerely,
Not Married

Dear Not Married,

There is a difference between romantic acts and sexual acts… and sexual acts are for marriage only.  There is a line between a gentle kiss of affection and a lustful kiss of sexual appetite.  Until marriage, it is important to avoid lustful situations altogether.  Paul told Timothy to “flee youthful lusts” (2 Tim 2:22), and 1 Thess 4:5 warns against the “passions of lust”.  The godly thing to do is to not defile the beauty of the marriage bed (Heb 13:4) by jumping into lustful activities before “‘til death do us part”.  There is much disagreement over where to draw the line when still dating, but the principle is that lust should be restrained so that godly affection might grow.