“The Storms Of Marriage”

Thursday, July 12, 2012

     I am so hurt right now and confused.  I don’t know what to do; all my husband wants to do is yell and cuss at me for the least little thing; he gets angry easily and then tries to come up and love and wonders why I am not talking.  It is hard to love on someone who is always angry, yelling, and cussing.  I have talked to him about it, and he will do good for awhile; then it is the same all over again.  I love God.  I pray; I try to be patient, but it is hard.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
Feeling Raw

Dear Feeling Raw,

Our hearts really and truly go out to you – you are obviously “unequally yoked” in spiritual matters (2 Cor 6:14).  There is no simple answer in this case, but there are some principles that you should consider.  It is a very difficult road to be married when it isn’t the fairy tale that people expect.  So what is the answer?

God says that your greatest tool of influence on your husband is your godly behavior.  1 Pet 3:1-2 says that the most effective influence a wife can have is her behavior.  It isn’t the words that you say that will have the most impact; it is the godly life you live.  When your choices show that you put God first and that your fear and respect of the Lord is the guiding light of your life, it will influence your husband.

Being faithful in a difficult marriage is hard, and our hearts go out to you in your struggle.  You are doing the right thing, and how you feel is totally normal.  Just remember, all things can work together for God if we trust in the Lord (Rom 8:28).  You mentioned that your husband has tried to change in the past.  That is a wonderful thing because it means that he wants to be better.  That is hope for the future.

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