“The Secret "I Do"”

Thursday, November 15, 2012

My question is: some people say that when you get married, your vow before God is what matters most.  I know of a husband and wife that exchanged vows before God with no pastor or witnesses.  They said that in about a year, they are going to have a public and legal wedding.  They believe that since they vowed it before God, He sees them as married now, and the ceremony is only something they want for legal, family, and tradition’s sake.  Is it true that God sees them as married?  I know they both believe that vows are holy before God.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Wedding Wonderer

Dear Wedding Wonderer,

The problem with that kind of arrangement is that:

1. There is really no Biblical precedent for being "married before God" and not married before the law and family.  Christians are supposed to obey the laws of the land (Rom 13:1-3).
2. The couple is putting themselves in a position where they look like they are living together without being married.  This means that they are sending the wrong message to mankind.  Christians are supposed to shine as lights in the world (Matt 5:16) and live a "good manner of life in Christ" that they may put to shame those who revile the name of Christ (1 Pet 3:16)
3. They are setting themselves up to be deceptive.  When they file for taxes, are they going to say they weren't married?  If great aunt Elma asks when they were married... what will they say?  There are lots of problems with this arrangement.

No matter how you slice it - it is better and Biblical to be up front and legal before God and man.

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