“Truth And Consequences”

Saturday, May 11, 2013

I have been married to my husband for ten years.  My husband lies to me about big and small things.  Last year, we lost our house because he wasn't paying the mortgage, even though all the time he was telling me he was.  I found out about the situation by being served court papers while he was at work.  That is just one example of many.   A couple months ago, he lost his job because he lied about things at work.  I don't know what to do.  He tells me he is looking for work, but I know he isn't.

We've been to counseling, but it doesn't help because he agrees to everything the counselor says but then doesn't put anything to practice.  It hurts, and I have no idea what to do.  I pray for him and for us, but I also know my husband needs to want to change.  I feel disappointed and lonely.  Any suggestions or biblical wisdom for me?

Sincerely,
Not A Liar, Liar

Dear Not A Liar, Liar,

Your situation is very difficult, and there are no easy answers we can provide.  You may need to seek counseling for yourself even if your husband won’t go.  A lying spouse is tremendously hard to overcome because all successful marriages are based upon trust.  Lying destroys relationships (Pr 26:28).

Until he wants to change, all you can do is establish yourself in truth.  Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Php 2:12).  Behave in a godly way, and don’t accept anything that will compromise your morals… your uncompromising stance for godliness is your greatest tool to affect your husband (1 Cor 7:12-16).  You have no right to divorce him – as awful as lying is, it isn’t a divorce-worthy offense (Matt 19:9).  However, you do have the right to plant your feet and accept nothing less than the truth in your marriage (Pr 23:23).

Share