“For Son Or For Self?”

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I am married, and my husband and I fight so much that we don’t have any feelings for each other any more.  He doesn't believe in God, and we have a child together; our relationship is nothing but mental abuse, and I know it’s not healthy for any of us to be in this situation, and there is another man that’s in my life, and I feel that we could be happy together.  I'm only twenty, and I know that life’s too short to live this way, and I want my son to treat women better than what my husband does, and I know if I stay with him, my son won’t have a chance.  I don’t’ know what to do.  Please help!

Sincerely,
Wife In Despair

Dear Wife In Despair,

You have some biblical options, but getting involved in an adulterous relationship isn’t one of them!  If you want to be pleasing to God and protect your soul, you must cut off the beginnings of this illicit relationship.  There are ways to make life better for your son, but this isn’t one of them.

Scripturally, there are several things you can do.  You can separate from your husband (1 Cor 7:10-11).  You can also (and should) get counseling with or without your husband (Pr 11:14).  The only scriptural reason for divorce is adultery (Matt 19:9), and from what you have stated, that hasn’t happened.

If you are really concerned for your son’s well-being, then simply separate from your husband with a desire to reconcile if possible.  Your son’s well-being isn’t dependent upon you dating other men… in fact, he will benefit from knowing that you aren’t giving up on his dad – but simply trying to do what is best.

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