“Polygamy”

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

I have a question about a man having more than one wife.  I know that in our culture it is something that is looked upon with disdain, but in other cultures it is an accepted practice.  I don’t want to add anything or take anything away from the Word of God, but how much of this issue is cultural, and how much is biblical? I know that in the Old Testament, God speaks to Adam and Eve and says the two shall become one flesh, but all throughout the Old Testament there are cases of a man having more than one wife. For example, David had many wives, and he was a man after God’s own heart.  If monogamous marriage was a commandment, all those people in the Old Testament sinned by having more than one wife.  I just don’t see God giving a commandment and then just letting man break it. In the New Testament, the qualification for elders is used to show that a man can’t have more than one wife; however, that is specifically for a man who is in that position, and there are qualifications listed that don’t apply to a non-elder Christian (like having believing children).  Also, I am sure there were first century conversions of men who have more than one wife, and if it is a commandment, then they would have had to divorce all but their first wife. I know that because it is viewed as wrong by our culture that, even if we can do it, we shouldn’t have more than one wife.  I also know that a guy would have to be crazy to want to deal with more than one wife and the conflict between the wives.  All I am concerned with is if it is a biblical commandment or a cultural restraint.

Sincerely, Vowing To Learn

Dear Vowing To Learn,

Polygamy is never expressly condemned in the Bible.  It is also never treated as the standard... but as the exception. There are scores of examples of monogamy being God’s preference for man:

1. Adam & Eve were designed monogamously (Gen. 2:24)
2. No polygamy existed until 7 generations after Adam (Gen 4:19)
3. Noah, the last righteous man of his day, had only one wife (Gen 7:13)
4. Qualification for an elder (Tit 1:6)
5. Qualification for a deacon (1 Tim 3:12)
6. Qualification for a worthy widow (1 Tim 5:9)
7. Every New Testament command for a husband or wife assumes monogamy in the commandments. (Mk 10:12, 1 Cor 7:3, Eph 5:33, etc.)
8. The comparison of Christ and the church to a husband and wife relies on a monogamous design for marriage (Eph 5:22-23)
9. God clearly states it as His design for marriage in the New Testament (1 Cor 7:2)

On the same hand, there are multiple examples of the pitfalls of polygamy:

1. Sarah and Hagar fought (Gen 16:4)
2. Rachel and Leah fought over Jacob (Gen 29:30-31)
3. Hannah and Penninah’s rivalry (1 Sam 1:2-6)
4. Solomon’s idolatrous wives (1 Kings 11:4)

Our problem is that God never specifically condemns these men for their polygamy. It is that silence on this particular issue that gives us the greatest consternation. However, we must remember that silence on a particular issue is not the same as God’s approval of the behavior. Everyone can agree that the Scriptures overwhelmingly approve of and allow monogamy while the evidence for polygamy is suspect at best.

We now enter into the issue of opinion, and anything we say must be left in that realm. My opinion is that if a man had multiple wives before obeying the gospel, he would not be required to divorce any of them. However, once someone becomes a christian, they are commanded by God to only seek out one spouse for a lifetime (1 Cor 7:2).

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