“Broken Trust”

Thursday, May 07, 2015

My former girlfriend and I had premarital sex, and she broke up with me because of it.  She felt guilty and said she betrayed her faith.  We never had an in-depth conversation about her beliefs until this. She says there is no way we can redeem ourselves in God's eyes, so she broke up with me.  Doesn't God forgive us for our sins? Isn't it possible for us to have a strong, healthy relationship as long as we don't have intercourse again until marriage? I regret having sex now because it completely derailed our relationship.  I am prepared to work on starting a new relationship with her based on faith.  I believe it will help the both of us in the long run.

Sincerely, Wanting Another Chance

Dear Wanting Another Chance,

You were wrong in having sex before marriage. She is wrong that you can’t be redeemed and forgiven. You are right in wanting to start a new relationship based on faith.

Unfortunately, you have both learned the hard way that doing things without God can cause an immense amount of pain, trouble, guilt, shame, and suffering. Premarital sex isn’t all the ‘fun’ that our society pretends it to be.

I applaud your desire to start over with a new foundation to your relationship. That means starting over with a new foundation to your life. How important is it to you to serve Christ? Are you willing to do what He says (Jhn 15:14)?

Becoming a christian is a new life (Gal. 2:20) built around the concept that God knows best, and His Word (the Bible) will guide your life. You must be willing to repent of your old life (Acts 17:30), confess Him as Savior (Matt 10:32), and be baptized in His name (1 Pet 3:21). Once you are baptized, you will be forgiven of ALL your sins - including this one (Acts 2:38). At that point, you are ready to start growing in a new life lived by faith through His Word (Rom 10:17, 1 Pet 2:2).

I highly recommend that whether or not she takes you back, you seek out a congregation in your area that teaches these things. If it is important enough to do this with your girlfriend, it’s important enough to do by yourself. There are many denominations out there – don’t fall for them. You want to find a congregation that lives, breathes, sleeps, and eats Bible... a congregation that looks just like the ones you see in the New Testament. If you email us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, we would be happy to help you find such a congregation.

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