“Do I "I Do"?”

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I accepted the Lord Jesus as my Savior approximately nine months ago. When I became saved, I was in a sinful relationship. I was living with my fiancé (we are abstaining now) and am the mother of two children. He is the father of one of those children. What I am struggling with now is whether or not I am able to marry my fiancé.  He is a divorced man.  According to him, he and his wife divorced due to her committing adultery. I have never been married, and it is very important to me to have a marriage that is within God’s will and purpose for my life.  I don’t want to enter into a union that will separate me from His holy presence. Can you please provide me with your insight regarding this and help me understand why I might not be feeling God’s guidance in this situation?

Sincerely, Bride To Be?

Dear Bride To Be?,

The Lord tells us His will through the Scriptures (2 Tim 3:15, Eph 3:4), and no emotion or feeling should ever be our guide in things moral. That is why you haven’t been receiving any direct guidance in your situation… God already gave us all the answers in His Bible (2 Pet 1:3). Happily, the Scriptures are very clear in your situation.

Your fiancé is not married and is therefore available to get married. His prior spouse divorced him over fornication, which is the only permissible reason for divorce in the New Testament (Matt 5:32). In any case, he is no longer married to his previous wife. The divorce is long since final, and if he isn’t married – he isn’t married.

God certainly intends for marriage to be between one man and one woman for life (Gen 2:24). Having said that, God understands that, unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way (especially when people are living worldly lives). In John 4:17-18, Jesus recognizes five separate marriages that a worldly Samaritan woman had had. Jesus recognizes that in a sinful world, people don’t always make the choices God desires for them, and consequently multiple marriages do occur.

As a christian, you must understand marriage is for life. Regardless of past choices, if you and your fiancé get married… make it ‘til “death do you part.”

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