“In The Know”

Friday, November 20, 2015

Sometimes when women have gotten together, there has been the comment of, “If my husband commits adultery, I don't want to know.”  My question is: what does God think about this?  If the husband has asked God to forgive him, does he have the right to keep that kind of secret from his spouse, or does he still have the responsibility to make it right as far as he has made it wrong?  Would it still be a deception?

 

Sincerely,
Give Me The Truth

Dear Give Me The Truth,

The Bible never says what sins we must confess to man and what sins we can keep between ourselves and God.  If the wife directly asks whether or not adultery has been committed, the husband would certainly have to answer truthfully (1 Jn 1:10).  However, if the question isn’t directly asked, the water gets a little murkier as to what must be done.

The Bible answer to this question is simply: it depends.  The Bible certainly tells us there are times that we should confess our sins one to another (Jas 5:16).  It also teaches that a marriage is supposed to be the most intimate relationship that we have in this life (Eph 5:31).  On top of that, when adultery is committed, divorce is permissible (Matt 5:32).  It would seem appropriate to let the injured spouse know that they have that option available to them when they had been wronged so grievously.  These three concepts would lean towards telling the spouse when adultery has been committed… and in 99% of the cases, that would be the right thing to do.

The problem is that the Bible never says the spouse must always be informed, and therefore, we here at AYP can’t say that either.  However, it is fair to say that the old adage “honesty is the best policy” is still a good principle to live by (Jhn 8:32).

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