Ask Your Preacher - Archives
“This Command Is For You”
Categories: MARRIAGE, MEN & WOMEN, RELATIONSHIPSHow do you handle a spouse who finds it easier to demonize you rather than to turn to GOD, keep His commandments, and serve GOD?Sincerely,
NO Longer Disrespected
Dear NO Longer Disrespected,
Christianity isn’t about handling others; it is about handling ourselves. We cannot control the behavior of others; we can only control ourselves. In a marriage, each spouse has a separate command.
If you are the husband, your command is to “love your wife” (Eph 5:28). A husband is to love his wife as his own body regardless of whether she is being respectful and kind. A husband’s love is not dependent upon a wife’s respect. Biblical love (best described in 1 Cor 13:4-8) is a choice, not a feeling. A loving husband chooses to do that which is in the best interest of his wife. He is to seek to love his wife as Christ does the church (Eph 5:25). A husband’s love is sacrificial; it is a gift he chooses to give unconditionally.
A wife is to respect her husband (Eph 5:24). She shows him respect even if he doesn’t deserve that respect. She chooses to let him lead the household regardless of whether he is good at it. As long as his decisions do not force her to disobey God (Acts 5:29), she follows him. She treats him as a man and honors him as head of the household even when he acts petty and small. Her respect is unconditional.
Each spouse has their own job. You cannot force the other spouse to behave one way or another, but you can gain them by your behavior (1 Pet 3:1). We waste our energy when we try and control the actions of others. You can only have success when you begin to mold your own soul.
