“Womb For More?”

Friday, February 19, 2016

I long to have children, and I feel like it is my call in life to be a mother, but my husband does not want kids.  He is very adamant about not having children, EVER!  This is not what we had planned and certainly not something that I agree with.  How lonely would it be when we are older and our families are gone and we have no kids of our own to visit with and talk to.  What do I do?  I have tried prayer and talking to him.  I don't know if I can deal with never having children.  Any advice?

Sincerely,
Baby Mama

Dear Baby Mama,

The longing of the female soul for children is as old as the world.  Ever since Eve became the mother of all living, women have wanted children (Gen 3:20).  Leah used children as the benchmark of whether she was a successful wife (Gen 29:32).  God also says that he opened Leah’s womb as a comfort and blessing to her (Gen 29:31).

Rachel was bereaved that she could not have children, and she, like you, fought with her husband over that issue (Gen 30:2).  Women unable to have children (for whatever reason) are very often vexed by a deep emotional burden.  In fact, childbearing is so entrenched in the psyche and feminine culture that women sometimes measure one another by their children; Peninnah often provoked Hannah because she had no children (1 Sam 1:6).

In fact, Hannah is an excellent example of how to deal with the sorrow of not having children.  Hannah never stopped loving her husband and maintaining a godly relationship with him (1 Sam 1:4-5).  Elkanah, her husband, didn’t understand why children were so important to Hannah, and it is likely your husband doesn’t either (1 Sam 1:7-8).  Hannah prayed constantly for God to find a way for her to have children; she prayed in her sorrow, and she prayed in hope (1 Sam 1:10).

Trust in the Lord, be a godly wife, continue to pray, and study the Scriptures with your husband on this topic, but ultimately you must learn to be content in whatever state you are in (Php 4:11).  May the Lord bless you in your difficult struggle.

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