“Is It A Sin To Be Unhappy?”

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

I'm very depressed and have lost all hope.  I have been married for two years now after three years of courtship.  My marriage lacks intimacy.  No matter how hard I try, I just meet rejection.  He told me that there will be intimacy someday, but he does not know when.  I've basically tried everything to bring back the spark but just meet disappointment.  Is this the way God wants me to be?  Is it okay to live in this marriage, faithful for the sake of keeping the marriage together and for the kids?  Is it all right to stop thinking of my own self and ignore my needs?  I fear and love God and do not want to do anything that He would not approve.  I know God would not want anyone to be unhappy, and I know God wants me to be a faithful person...but what kind of price am I paying?  Please enlighten me and help me deal with this situation.

Sincerely,
Despondent Wife

Dear Despondent Wife,

There are two major concepts that you need to consider in your situation.

1. It is always wrong to get a divorce – except in the case of adultery (Matt 19:9).  No matter how unhappy you are, it would be a sin for you to get a divorce.  Being a christian isn’t about doing what makes us happy… it is about being faithful to God which includes keeping His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  We must be prepared to deny ourselves and follow after Christ (Matt 16:24).  Marriage difficulties are currently your cross to take up and bear.
2. God does want for you to have a happy marriage and family.  He outlines in multiple areas of the Bible how to achieve that.  Eph 5:22-31, Col 3:18-21, and 1 Cor 7:1-5 are great examples of God’s teachings on the subject of marriage.  It is quite possible to have a loving, faithful marriage if you work together and use God’s Word as your guide.  Regardless of what your spouse does, if you obey God’s commands, it will make your marriage better.

Marital problems, though all similar, are unique to each couple.  We highly recommend you find a Biblical counselor (one that teaches Bible principles and NEVER treats divorce as a solution) and that you and your husband begin to get help.  Sometimes, we all need a helping hand (Pr 11:14).

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