“His And Her Beliefs”

Friday, April 21, 2017

I have been married to the most wonderful man I have ever known for over nine years.  We have a wonderful marriage; we rarely argue, we discuss things fairly, and we communicate and compromise very well.  We are strong together and very, very happy.  There is only one problem.  I am an atheist.  My husband is a christian.  I do not try to change his mind or 'convert' him.  I was raised in a christian home, so I understand his feelings about my faith... or lack thereof.  He worries about my salvation, and he is quite upset that when he gets to heaven, I won't be there.  Becoming an atheist was a slow and emotional process for me.  When we married, I 'believed' in God, but my belief was based only on fear.  I did a lot of research on many different religions of the world, and the more I read, the more atheism made sense to me.  I love him, and his faith makes him happy, so I am 100% supportive of it.  But I cannot force myself to believe in something that I don't.

My husband and I found a Bible verse a few days ago, and I have asked every christian person that I personally know, and the answer is always different, so my husband suggested I find a website like yours (thank you, Google) and ask the experts, so to speak.  I do not know what your experience is, but I am assuming that since you are a preacher, and this is your line of work, maybe you can help clarify our interpretation of this verse.  Everyone interprets the Bible differently, and who is to say which interpretation is correct?  That's where I'm hoping you will come in.  My hope is to put my husband's mind at ease.  We do not intend to divorce.  That is NOT an option.  We have heard that from another preacher, so I'll just tell you up front that although we will value and appreciate your opinion, your opinion will not end our marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 says:
"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

Dictionary.com defines sanctify as such:
sanc·ti·fy   [sangk-tuh-fahy]
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing.

1. to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate.

2. to purify or free from sin

3. to impart religious sanction to; render legitimate or binding: to sanctify a vow.

4. to entitle to reverence or respect.

5. to make productive of or conducive to spiritual blessing.

Our interpretation, put bluntly, is that because of his faith, I get a free ticket to heaven (IF I'm wrong about my beliefs).  My Aunt (who is VERY religious) says that my interpretation is impossible because the Bible says that the ONLY way to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven is to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior… and that my interpretation contradicts everything the Bible says (hence, my atheism).  But you can look for yourself.  The verse I quoted is in there, too.

So... please help us.  Give us, especially my husband, some guidance in our situation.  Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Whenever we deal with verses in the Bible, it is very important that we remember that no single verse can be viewed without comparing it with other verses.  It is the sum of all God's Word on any given topic that gives us the truth (Ps 119:160).  The only way for someone to be saved is through Christ (Jhn 14:6); it is impossible to be saved unless we accept Christ by faith (Eph 2:8).

However, the word 'sanctified' doesn't just refer to salvation.  In its most basic sense, the word 'sanctify' simply means 'to be set apart'.  People married to christians are different than those married to unbelievers.  The constant influence and contact that occurs from being married to a christian increases your likelihood of ever obeying the truth.  As 1 Cor 7:16 points out, that influence can eventually lead to the salvation of the unbelieving spouse.  By no means does 1 Cor 7 imply that the unbeliever receives a free ticket to heaven... we all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Php 2:12).

On a separate note, we here at AYP can commiserate with your frustration over fear-based belief in God... we believe the scientific evidence should be the basis for belief in God.  If you are ever interested, we would be happy to point you toward what we believe is the best evidence for God's existence.  Otherwise, at the very least, hopefully we have provided some clarity on 1 Corinthians 7.

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