“His And Her Beliefs Part 2”

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

(This article is a response to “His And Her Beliefs”)

Thank you very much for your response.  While it is very unlikely that my viewpoint will ever change, I would love for you to point me in the direction of scientific proof of God's existence.  Like most atheists I know, I am always open to learning new things.

Being married to a christian has not changed my behavior at all.  I was a good, moral, and decent person before... and I still am.  Many uneducated people think that atheists are evil or devoid of morality.  But that would imply that christians are only moral out of fear or that only christians are moral people.  And, in my opinion, that is a pretty big judgment for a christian.

I looked through some previous questions posted on your website, and I have to say... one of them offended me tremendously.  A young woman asked if she should marry her atheist boyfriend.  You replied, “Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.”  Again... I consider that a very biased judgment.  I have NEVER imposed my beliefs on my husband, and I never would.  I support his beliefs 100%.  I don't share his beliefs, but I love that Christianity satisfies his spiritual needs.  You also said, “Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.”  Like I stated before, my husband and I have a wonderful marriage, and although our views on God differ, we are still more than capable of compromising and working together to make our life the way we want it.  And neither of us have to give in and do anything that goes against our morals.  I don't cheat on my husband, lie to him, treat him badly, nor do either one of us force our own religious or spiritual beliefs on each other.  Judge lest ye be judged.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Probably our best articles on the subject of God's existence are "Does God Exist?" and "God Is Alive".  Both those articles provide lots of information as well as additional books and resources that you and your husband could discuss together.

We never meant to imply that all atheists are devoid of morality; that isn't true.  The point is that your basis for morality is personal and subjective, and christianity is based off of a concrete and objective moral standard.  Christians believe that God created us, and His Word is the standard for morality (2 Tim 3:16-17)... atheists don't have that common standard.  We are very happy that your marriage is so successful, but in the many decades of combined counseling that our AYP writers have, you are a singular exception.

Purely out of theological curiosity, we'd love to learn from your experience as an atheist.  Why do you behave in a moral way?  Where do you get your standard for what is moral and immoral?  Would you consider it wrong for someone to murder/rape/torture someone else, and if so, why would you consider it wrong?  Our understanding of atheism is that humans are no different from the rest of the animal kingdom, and animals do all of those things to each other on a regular basis.  Our goal isn't to be rude – but to understand how an atheist comes to the conclusion that it is important to be decent and moral.  We look forward to your insight.

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