“Spouse First”

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

     I am engaged to be married, but I have a lot of friends of the opposite sex.  Should I stop my relationships with men I have known half my life, so he does not question my faithfulness to him?  What does the Bible say about opposite sex friendships… friendships that are purely platonic?

Sincerely,
Friendly

Dear Friendly,

The Bible never says that men and women can’t be friends, but it does give some warnings to remain above reproach.  Being above reproach is a qualification for an elder (Tit 1:6) and something we should all strive for.  To be ‘above reproach’ means to make sure that your behavior is clearly appropriate and honorable in the sight of all (2 Cor 8:21).

When Christians interact with others of the opposite gender, we are to behave in a way that shows all purity (1 Tim 5:1-2).  When you are engaged, your relationships with others of the opposite gender change because your stage of life has changed.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t still do things with men… but you need to be looking at how to have those relationships in a healthy way that incorporates your soon-to-be husband – that may or may not be possible.  If it does come down to choosing between your marriage and others… your marriage will always come first (Eph 5:31).

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