“Don't Think About It”

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

     My question is one that has been bothering me a lot lately.  I am married and totally in love with my husband.  He is so wonderful to me, and he is a strong spiritual leader for me.  He is everything (and more) that I prayed and asked God for.  But, on occasion, the thought of divorce crosses my mind.  I don't know why it comes into my mind.  I don't want that for my life; when I made my vows to my husband, I didn't make them lightly… not to mention I am so happy and couldn't imagine my life without him.  Now what has been concerning me is in Matt 5:21-30, we are taught that even thinking about sinning (which from my understanding, divorce is a sin unless there has been unfaithfulness in the marriage) can be dangerous for our souls.  I am concerned that because the thought of divorce pops in to my head once and a while that my soul is in danger.  Even though I have no intention of ever acting on that thought, I want to live a happy and long life with my husband.  Do you think that my soul is in danger?  Thank you for your feedback and the work you do.

Sincerely,
Totally in Love

Dear Totally In Love,

Dwelling upon evil desires is sinful (such as lusting after a woman – Matt 5:28), but a thought popping into your head is not the same as dwelling upon evil.

You don’t have complete control over what thoughts come into your mind (this is also true of emotions), but you do have control over what you do with those thoughts.  As a simple example, if someone says the word ‘dog’, you will immediately think of a dog.  Whether you want to or not!  (In fact, you are thinking about dogs right now.)  Jas 1:13-15 points out that sin occurs when we allow our thoughts to dwell upon sinful behavior until we actually act upon them.  Merely having the thought pop into your mind is not the same as dwelling upon it.  You are obviously happily married, have no desire to divorce, and as long as you continue to shove the thought out of your mind as you are doing right now, you aren’t sinning at all.

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