“An Honored Institution”

Friday, November 13, 2020

     I am a Christian, and I have an old friend who is an atheist.  My friend has been married for seventeen years and last summer came close to a divorce after his wife discovered that he was having an affair.  They have since reconciled but have sought no counseling.  I have even suggested they begin this new chapter in their lives by joining a church.  This suggestion was laughed off.  He and his wife along with my wife and me are going on vacation together in three weeks.  We live 900 miles apart from one another.

 

Now that you have the background, here's the question.  Yesterday, he asked me to renew his wife's and his vows on the beach!  My knee-jerk response was, "No, I can't do that.  You need a preacher!"  He responded by saying that he doesn't need a preacher, and he just needs someone to do the vows, and who better than his old best friend?  Something is nagging at me.  First of all, I don't think they have taken the right steps to ensure a solid marriage going forward, but there seems to be more bothering me.  Is there something wrong with a Christian renewing the vows of a couple who are not Christians?  Is there something wrong with someone other than a preacher renewing a married couple’s vows?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
An Old Friend

Dear An Old Friend,

No, there isn't anything wrong with you helping them renew their vows – after all, they aren't officially getting married; they did that seventeen years ago.  This is just a couple trying to reconcile and re-embrace a healthy marriage.  God says that marriage is to be held in honor by all (Heb 13:4).  It isn't a sin for you to help any married couple try and renew a sense of honor in their marriage.

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