We are born-again christians who have been invited to a wedding ceremony led by a shaman.  The groom believes in Buddhism.  The bride is going along for the ride since she does not practice her christian faith.  I know that, at times, we should hate the sin but love the sinner.  Should we go?  Is it against our faith to do so?

Sincerely,
Wedding Guests

Dear Wedding Guests,

It is not inherently wrong to go to a wedding that involves false religion.  If it were a Catholic wedding, you probably would go, and they are just as wrong as the shaman.  Having said that, this wedding probably feels worse because the ceremony doesn’t even pretend to call on the name of Christ.  This is an issue of wisdom, and you will have to prayerfully make the decision for yourselves after considering the following Bible principles:

1. You should never do anything against your conscience.  Your conscience is that part of you that makes you feel bad if you do what you think is wrong, and it makes you feel good if you do what you think is right.  Your conscience isn’t always correct, but we are told to always strive for a pure conscience (2 Tim 1:3, 1 Tim 1:5).  Even if you know that you can go to this wedding, if you can’t feel good about it – you shouldn’t go.
2. It is also important to consider your influence.  Do you believe you will make more of an impact with the couple by going to the wedding or by refusing to go?  Matt 5:16 says that we should let our light shine, so others may see our good works and glorify God.  You mentioned that the bride is an apathetic believer… would making a stand show her that she needs to deal with her faith (or lack thereof)?  It may be that not going will burn bridges, or it might be that it will start a dialogue… only you can decide which is the right course.
3. Do you believe that going to this wedding would show that you approve of their religious views?  God tells us to never become partners with idolatry (2 Cor 6:14-16).  There is a distinction between attending a wedding and participating in its religious sentiments; it is a fine line but one that you must consider.  Are you supposed to be in the wedding?  Will they be asking you to partake in some sort of Buddhist rituals?  These are questions worth asking.  In fact, asking the bride and groom about the details of the wedding may be the way to have the dialogue you are hoping for.

All in all, these principles can help you to make a decision that is faithful to the Lord, your conscience, and your influence in the world.

I am forty-three and have been a christian since I was nineteen.  Since then, I have seen so much judgment, condemnation, hatred, and intolerance within the church towards other christians.  Finding a church and other christians that don't make me want to gouge my eyes out has been impossible.  The Bible seems to be very contradictory, and God claims to be loving, but according to the Bible, He is more angry than loving.  My life has been horrible, and Christianity has brought no relief.  A friend of mine who is a Nichren Buddhist has introduced me to Buddhist chanting.  In one month, I have gotten more peace and relief from that than from being a christian.  I have always felt that my pain and prayers have fallen on deaf ears by God.  I am very conflicted and am standing at a crossroad.  I really don't know what direction to take.  Why has Christianity been such a dissatisfying experience for me?  Why has every church member I have ever known been such a hypocrite and fake?  I would like to believe that God really wants us to be happy, but my personal experiences have not been the case.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Ohm

Dear Ohm,

Corruption, hypocrisy, and scandal have been hallmarks of religion for as long as there has been religion… even in Jesus’ day.  The entire chapter of Matthew 23 is devoted to Christ lambasting the hypocrisy of the religious leaders of His day.  Paul warned that false teachers would commandeer Christ’s message for their own gain (2 Tim 4:3), and Peter sternly rebuked many of his contemporaries for their evil motives that would cause people (just like yourself) to doubt the truth because of the corruption of the messengers (2 Pet 2:1-2).  But there is hope!

Just like in Jesus’ day, there are pockets of people who actually practice what God preaches.  Most churches that proclaim Christ aren’t doing what the Bible teaches and are warping and twisting Jesus’ message (Gal 1:6-7), but there are congregations that truly do want to do only what the Bible says… people who are hearing and sincerely trying to do what God teaches (Jas 1:22-25).  We here at AYP remember that feeling of frustration with the religious confusion and hypocrisy.  We remember what it was like to feel frustrated to the point of giving up – and then we found the truth and people who love each other and love the Lord.

We can help you find a congregation in your area that can show you that there are sincere, honest people trying to serve God.  Christianity isn’t complicated when people do it God’s way.  Don’t give up just yet.  If you are willing to give it a try, we would be happy to help find a congregation in your area.  Just e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.