Hello.  I've prayed to God on this subject many times, but I do not seem to get a clear answer either way.  I'm hoping you can help.  What do you think is God's view on embryo adoption?  Many infertile couples undergo IVF treatments, and as a result, many surplus embryos are left over.  These are either frozen indefinitely, destroyed, or used for scientific research.

We are unable to have children of our own and would dearly love to adopt one of these embryos which would otherwise never be given the chance of life.

Do you think it is morally wrong to bring a child into the world this way?

Surely it's better for them to have a life and be loved and cherished rather than just destroyed.  Okay, we may not be the biological parents, but we would love them with the same intensity.  I know it's an unusual question, but I'd appreciate any guidance on this matter.

Sincerely,
Maternal Instinct

Dear Maternal Instinct,

What a wonderful heart for children that you and your husband have!  Very few people realize that there are tens of thousands of fertilized embryos that exist in America and are being stored because of in-vitro fertilization procedures.  This poses a huge ethical dilemma.  Since the Bible never tells us when a human life begins, it is impossible to simply treat fertilized embryos as waste.  As far as we know, life begins at conception (this is the same argument used against abortion – read “A Voice For The Voiceless” for further details), and that would include these embryos.  So what is to be done?  Embryo adoption is becoming an increasingly popular option for couples that are seeking to have children and also feel morally compelled to save these children.  Adoption is a wonderful option.

The Bible is very pro-adoption.  In fact, the greatest adoption story in history is the church.  Jesus died, so God could adopt us as His children (Eph 1:4-5, Rom 8:15).  What a wonderful legacy of love that you can provide your children with.  Your children will always know that they were loved from the earliest stages of life and that their parents chose life.

I am pregnant and have an abusive boyfriend, both physically and emotionally.  I want to leave but don’t want to go through pregnancy alone, and I don’t want my baby to have no father figure.  I feel like God has wanted this for me and that I am now too old to find a partner in life.  Do I leave?

Sincerely,
Mother In Distress

Dear Mother In Distress,

Any man that beats women isn’t a father figure, so staying with him isn’t a blessing to your unborn child.  God tells us to train up a child in the way they should go so that when they are older, they won’t depart from the righteous path (Pr 22:6).  It is understandable that you are scared right now, and our hearts go out to you in your loneliness.  Just remember, life is too short to continue to walk down the wrong road – at some point, the brave thing to do is to turn around and start walking the right direction (Acts 17:30).  What kind of person do you want your child to become?  Whatever you want your child to be, you must first be for them.  By leaving an abusive relationship, fleeing sexual immorality, and turning to God, you will be starting a legacy of faith for your unborn son or daughter.  Your bravery will teach them to be brave.  Also, you don’t have to be alone in this… in fact, you shouldn’t be.  There are faithful congregations of godly people all over the country that can help you as you start on your new path.  Not all churches serve God, but we would be happy to help you find one in your area that is faithful and ready to help teach and encourage you through this new beginning.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org if we can help you find a church near you.

How does God heal a heart that is broken by your own child?

Sincerely,
Hurting Parent

Dear Hurting Parent,

There may not be any greater pain on this planet than the pain a parent feels on behalf of their children.  Whether your children have hurt you or you are watching your children hurt, it is a devastating heaviness upon your soul (Pr 10:1).  We are so sorry for your suffering.  Suffering is so difficult because each person’s sorrow is unique to them (Pr 14:10).

It might give you courage to know that some of the greatest people of the Bible have dealt with great sorrow, tragedy, and depression – read our post “I’ve Got The Joy, Joy, Joy” for examples.

Another verse that might give you comfort is Rom 8:28.  God is able to turn tragedy into victory when we trust Him and live our lives His way.  All things are possible through God (Php 4:13).  We don’t know how or when, but you can be stronger for having faced this… as much as that is hard to believe right now.

You might also consider reading through the Psalms.  Psalms can give great comfort to people when human words aren’t enough.  When your heart is torn by your children – God’s Words are a balm for the hurting.

I am a mother of two, and we don't attend church.  I tell them as much as I know about God and Jesus and the Bible.  I am scared, though, every time I start to think about the end of days… not because I am not saved but because I heard that when the rapture comes, in heaven you will not know anyone.  I want to know my kids.  I want to watch them grow up and have babies of their own.  I think I may be misunderstanding something.  Please help me understand what is going to happen and if we are all going to be together and know each other.  Please, I get so sad about all of it.

Sincerely,
Maternal Instinct

Dear Maternal Instinct,

The Rapture isn’t a biblical teaching, and it won’t actually happen (read our article “Up In The Air” for a detailed explanation of what the Bible teaches about the Rapture).  However, you are still left with your concern about what heaven will be like (heaven is still very real! – 1 Pet 1:3-4).  In heaven, we have every reason to believe we will know each other.  In fact, if the transfiguration is any indication, we will know everyone in heaven, not just those we have known in this life.  When Jesus was transfigured on the Mount of Olives, both Moses and Elijah appeared and talked to Christ (Lk 9:30).  The remarkable thing is that Peter recognized both of those men even though they had been dead for many centuries (Lk 9:32-33).

Now, if we may, we’d like to address your statement that you don’t go to church.  It is a sin to not attend church; the Bible says so (Heb 10:24-25).  God uses the church to strengthen each of us individually, and He expects all of us to provide our effort to help strengthen others in His church (Eph 4:16).  The church is the pillar and support of the truth (1 Tim 3:15).  Every faithful christian of the Bible was commanded to be a member of a congregation because God knew that we shouldn’t stand alone.  It is a wonderful thing that you are teaching your children about Jesus and training them up to love Him (Pr 22:6).  We would be happy to help you move forward in your service to Christ by putting you in contact with a faithful congregation in your area.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and let us help you fill in that piece in the puzzle of your spiritual life.

Will I be blessed with a kid soon?

Sincerely,
Potential Parent

Dear Potential Parent,

We can’t give you the answer to that question – only God knows.  What we can tell you is that other faithful people have faced the same desire to conceive and wondered just as you do when that special blessing would come.  One of the greatest examples of this is Hannah.  In 1 Samuel 1:4-8, we see how desperately Hannah wanted a child, but yet she waited.  Hannah’s solution?  She prayed fervently to God (1 Sam 1:9-10).  God heard her prayer and eventually gave her that wonderful child she had prayed for (1 Sam 1:20). The power of prayer is incredible.  We can’t tell you when you will be blessed with a child (after all, we aren't prophets), but we can tell you that if you pray to the Lord, He is faithful and will cause all to work together for good (Rom 8:28).