Was there ever a time that the churches of Christ taught that artificial birth control was always sinful?  Can you tell me the earliest teaching you can identify within the churches of Christ that teaches that artificial birth control is permissible?

Sincerely, History Lessons

Dear History Lessons,

Your question assumes that the title ‘church of Christ’ is the name of a denomination with a unified creed and leadership - it isn’t. The name ‘church of Christ’ is taken directly from the Bible (2 Thess 1:1). The church belongs to Christ because He purchased it with His blood (Acts 20:28). Though some groups that use the title ‘church of Christ’ are denominations, our congregation professes to only stand by the Bible and nothing else, just like the churches of the first century. Each congregation was independently led by elders and commended to the Lord’s guidance (Acts 14:23). Many people have attempted to classify these kinds of churches as another denomination (a quick Google or Wikipedia search shows the ways people have tried to define these congregations), but ultimately they are simply groups that have all independently asserted to use the Bible (and the Bible only) as their standard of measure.

The New Testament’s teachings on birth control (see this post for more on that topic) are the only place I can direct you to regarding the church of Christ’s teachings on the topic. Each individual person and congregation must study the Scriptures and rightly divide the Word concerning the subject of birth control (2 Tim 2:15)… as we seek to on any topic. There is no board of directors, theological center, or creed book that decides for us. God’s people should be beholden to His Word and His Word only. A faithful congregation turns to the Scriptures and imitates the first century church seen in the Bible. May Christ alone be our head and guide (Eph 5:23).

At what age should a parent talk to their child about the male/female relationship? It seems like public schools push the issue as soon as possible, but I would rather give my children God's viewpoint before they are exposed to the world’s viewpoint on what is appropriate behavior. When should this discussion take place, and what would be the best way to approach it?

Sincerely, Us Against The World

Dear Us Against The World,

Talk to your children about male/female relationships as soon as possible – in an age appropriate way. A three year old can understand that married people raise babies and that marriage is for life. Obviously, you would avoid the specifics until they are older. The Scriptures tell parents that they should be discussing life lessons with their children whenever the opportunities present themselves (Deu 11:19). You simply scale the lessons based upon age and maturity.

The world is your classroom! Use every circumstance possible to explain (in an age appropriate way) how your children should act as they get older, including how to act toward the opposite gender.

1. Even the youngest child can learn to dress modestly (1 Tim 2:9).
2. The sanctity of marriage can be taught to all ages (Mk 10:7).
3. Be sure to teach the importance of only marrying a godly spouse (1 Cor 7:39, Pr 31:10).
4. Teach them not to worry about rushing romance (Songs 3:5).
5. Show them how wives need love and husbands need respect (Eph 5:33).
6. Explain male and female roles in marriage (Tit 2:4-5, 1 Tim 5:8).

All of these lessons are a thousand times more important than the details of a sex education class found in the school system. Train them how to be adults now, and they will be ready when they get there (Pr 22:6). As topics come up naturally, explain to them God’s teachings on the subject. Every child is different, so the teaching will look different every time. But be like Philip; ask them questions (Acts 8:30-31), answer their questions (Acts 8:34), and start the teaching from wherever they are (Acts 8:35).

When a person loses their spouse or child to death, how does that remaining person keep from becoming like Jacob in the book of Genesis when he lost his son Joseph, and he mourned so hard he "let his grey hair down to Sheol"?

Sincerely, Deep In Sorrow

Dear Deep In Sorrow,

This is a great question… which is why thousands of books have been written

on the subject of grief. The statement you referred to is made by Jacob immediately upon hearing of his son's death and when he contemplates the loss of a second son (Gen 37:35, Gen 42:38). That emotion is a normal one. When one learns of the death of a spouse or child, their first reaction is so painful and the grief is so deep that they feel they will never have another happy moment on this earth. Jacob's first reaction was normal in this respect. Jacob later received the good news that his son was alive, so he didn't have to go to his grave in pain.

But your question is about us today. How do we handle grief, so that we will be able to recover and find happiness again? This process of handling grief is called "Healing Grief." It means we go through the grieving process in the right way, so we can heal. This is where those thousands of books come in, and I suggest you read many of them if you are in this condition. Some of the major things most people need to do are:

1) Go ahead and cry your eyes out. Don't be ashamed to express your pain by crying. (Ps 6:6-7)

2) If you have a friend who will listen, talk, talk, talk. Crying and talking are very therapeutic. Don't hold it in! Cry and talk. (Eccl 4:10)

3) Cry out to God in prayer and listen to God as He speaks to you through His Bible, especially the book of Psalms (Phil 4:6; 1 Pet 5:6-7). 4) This next one sounds funny to someone who has not been through this experience, but those who have will know what I am saying. After a few months, you will realize that you don't want to let go of your loved one. You don't want them forgotten. You actually hope they might, in some way, come back. At this stage, you must accept the fact that they are gone. This is not easy, but it is a big step that is necessary to healing. (2 Sam 12:22-23)

When this acceptance actually comes into your life, you will begin the final period called ‘recovery’. It is at this time that hope will come back into your life, and you will find happiness again. You are going through a grieving process God built within us humans who are made in His image… so don’t give up. Even Jesus Himself experienced this emotion (John 11:35).

You have already given an excellent answer to a question about the NIV version, but I have another question. Someone once told me that the NIV was sinful because it supported babies going to hell. If so, where and how?

Sincerely, Truth In Translation

Dear Truth in Translation,

The chapter in question is Romans chapter 8, and the phrase in question is ‘sinful nature’. The New International Version (NIV) translators use the phrase ‘sinful nature’ throughout Romans chapter 8 when all the major strict translations use the word ‘flesh’. The Greek word is ‘sarkos’ which literally means ‘flesh’. The transdenominational council (see previous post for more details) felt that ‘sinful nature’ better represented the idea that all human beings are born in sin… thus unbaptized babies would go to hell.

This blatant abuse of power by the NIV translators is used to propagate a denominational doctrine. When viewed through the NIV translation, Romans chapter 8 seems to specifically endorse the idea that all humans are born with a sinful nature - when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Sin is a choice, not a genetic flaw (Gen 4:6-7).

Is using birth control a sin?

Sincerely, Pro-Life

Dear Pro-Life,

There are two ways that using birth control would be a sin.

1. It is a sin if it is a type of birth control that is ‘retroactive’, meaning that it forces your body to reject an already fertilized egg. God says that life begins in the womb after conception. God said that Samson was a life even while in the womb (Judg 13:7); the same is said of David (Ps 139:13). John the Baptist was even described as a ‘baby leaping within the womb’ (Lk 1:41). As the old saying goes, “If it isn’t a baby, you aren’t pregnant.” Mary was ‘with child’, not ‘with embryo’ (Matt 1:18). Carefully discuss with your doctor any birth control that you might use and make sure that it does not function by aborting a fertilized egg in the early stages of development. The only birth control acceptable to a christian is one that prevents fertilization.
2. The other reason you couldn’t use birth control is if your conscience bothers you. If you can’t do it in faith, then it is a sin (Rom 14:23). Many christians believe that they are thwarting God’s will by using birth control. Others are concerned that the birth control may accidently cause a miscarriage. If you or your spouse fall under this category of ‘conscientious objector’, then you must refrain from using birth control.

Having considered these factors, make a thoughtful, informed, and prayerful decision.