My daughter thinks it's okay for women to love women in a way that men and women are supposed to be in a relationship.  She tells me, “God is love,” and that's what her relationship is, and she also believes that I am judging her.  I know that the devil has blinded her, and my heart aches because I raised my children in church, and I pray for her deliverance.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
Sick Over This

Dear Sick Over This,

If you are looking for verses to show your daughter on the subject of homosexuality, the clearest two in the New Testament are Rom 1:26-27 and Jude 1:7.  However, as you implied, the problem is more than just finding the verses; it is how to act toward a child that has chosen a sinful lifestyle.

There may not be any greater pain on this planet than the pain a parent feels on behalf of their children.  Whether your children have hurt you or you are watching your children hurt, it is a devastating heaviness upon your soul (Pr 10:1).

All you can ever do for your grown children is be a good example, pray for their souls, and stand firm in the truth.  Be that light of Christ that they need to see (Matt 5:14).  Hate the sin, but love them.  Sin causes pain in people’s lives, and hopefully, when that pain gets deep enough – they will choose to look to your example and the Lord’s Will for answers.

     I'm a born-again christian.  I believe the Bible and have faith in Jesus Christ.  However, there is one sin that I seem to continuously go to willingly.  After this sin, I pray and ask God to forgive me and to give me help to not commit the sin again, yet, I find myself committing it once more.  After sinning, I'm always fearful for my spiritual life and repent saying that I will never do it again.  Idle hands truly are the devil’s work!  Should I be fearful for my salvation?  I'm not looking for a ‘yes’ in hopes of continuing to commit the sin.  I'm just trying to put my mind at rest and for answers on how to stop committing this sin.  Thanks and God bless.

Sincerely,
Repeat Offender

Dear Repeat Offender,

There are two parts to your question:

1. How many times can I ask for forgiveness for the same sin?
2. How do I remove this sin from my life?

The answer to the first question is simple. You can ask for forgiveness an innumerable amount of times. Christ told Peter that we should forgive ‘seventy times seven’ (Matt 18:21-22). Paul was forgiven of his sins even after killing christians and actively persecuting the church (1 Tim 1:16). As often as we truly repent, God is ready to forgive (Lk 17:4). It is quite possible to truly repent of something and then find yourself doing that same thing not minutes later. It happens in arguments all the time! You say something mean, apologize, then find yourself upset again, and again use rash words. The repeating of the cycle is not necessarily an indication of false sorrow.

However, the second part of your question deals with stopping this cycle. God will forgive you for stumbling again into the same sin, but only if you are truly attempting to change your mind. Paul reminds us that we are to do everything we can to flee from the slavery to sin (Rom 6:1-2, Rom 6:12-13). Without knowing what sin you are caught up in, I can’t give specific advice, but I recommend getting help if it is as consuming as you say. Many sins can become addictions that are very hard to break. Here are some things to consider:

1. Are you trying to change all on your own? God says two are stronger than one (Eccl 4:9-10). In the case of sin like pornography, many people try and struggle through it alone without seeking help because of the shame involved in it becoming known. This rarely, if ever, works. Telling someone, even just one trusted friend, and using things like Covenant Eyes accountability software can make all the difference in such circumstances.
2. Are you putting yourself in compromising situations? People with drug and alcohol addictions are often tempted back into their old habits by drinking buddies or parties where drugs are made available. You may need to cut off certain people and habits from your life in order to escape that sort of sin. Remember, Christ said it would be better to remove even your own hand if it would free you from a sin (Matt 5:30).

Removing sin from our lives is a constant struggle. God is ready to forgive you ‘seventy times seven’ as you fight to defeat this sin, but you must look yourself in the mirror and make sure you are taking the steps necessary to change your life.

     My boyfriend and I have been living together for about four years.  We have a one-year-old son and are both very active in his daily life.  To us, we have a perfect family, although we are not technically married.  We love each other very much and do plan to spend the rest of our lives together and have made that commitment to one another.  We would, however, like to wait until we are more financially stable to have a wedding ceremony as that can be quite expensive.  We recently rededicated our lives to Christ and are wondering if we are living in sin.  I believe that we are, but I am not sure what we should do about it.  Does God expect us to no longer live together, to rip our family apart and destroy our son’s happiness?  My boyfriend will not get married now as he does not believe we are living in sin as long as we are 100% committed to one another and have made a vow to one another and God that we plan to spend our lives only with one another.  I really want to live my life for God and I do in all ways but this.  I cannot imagine allowing this to destroy my family.  Please offer some advice.

Sincerely,
Mixed Emotions Mom

Dear Mixed Emotions Mom,

There is nothing more important to God than you, your boyfriend, and your child.  God loves us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us (Jhn 3:16).  As a parent, can you imagine how deep His love for us must be to make such a sacrifice?

God wants what is best for us.  The best thing is for you and your boyfriend to get married.  Living together is wrong, and no matter how committed you are, it isn’t the same as being married.  In Jhn 4:18, Jesus told a woman that she was not married even though she was living with a man.  No matter how your boyfriend feels about you, he isn’t your husband.  Show him Jhn 4:18, and then ask him (since you said you are both committed to serving Christ) what he wants to do about it.

As far as the costs involved with getting married, you don’t have to have a big wedding – a quick trip to the courthouse is perfectly fine.  Save up and have a big party later.  A big, extravagant ceremony is just a luxury, but being married is an issue of morality.

God doesn’t want to rip families apart; He wants us to be saved and to build our lives upon a proper foundation – Jesus Christ and His Word (1 Cor 3:11).  It may seem like your life is working well now, but we can guarantee you that not listening to the Bible always makes things worse.  There are some things that your child doesn’t fully understand but that you, as the parent, realize are dangerous or important.  God is the same way.  You don’t see why it is so important to be married, but God says it is.  Will you trust Him, or will you trust yourself (Rom 10:17)?  The answer to that question will decide your future and set the tone for your life and for your son’s life (Pr 22:6).

     What if you have done something that’s a sin, but you didn’t know it was?

Sincerely,
Ignorant

Dear Ignorant,

An unintentional sin is still a sin, and we need the grace of God to forgive us of it.  In the Old Testament, Jews were commanded to offer sin offerings for unintentional sins (Lev 4:2-3).  A sincere person making mistakes is certainly better than someone purposefully seeking out sin, but an honest mistake is still a mistake.

Jesus Christ came and gave His life, so those who wish to live godly lives could get a second chance and forgiveness for the sins they regretted.

     I've been a christian my entire life, but I'm having some trouble finding some answers to questions I have.  One of my biggest questions is: if God created everything and knows everything, why would He create sin, knowing that's a choice that mankind will choose?  And why can't He just make sin go away?  I know that not everyone can go to heaven because it's a perfect place, and sin cannot be there, but why wouldn't God just completely get rid of sin, so all these people He's created and loves can be with Him in heaven?

Sincerely,
Hope For All

Dear Hope For All,

God didn’t create sin; the devil did.  The Bible says that Satan is the father of lies (Jhn 8:44).  Sin only exists when we turn our back on God.  Sin is a lot like darkness.  Darkness isn’t really a thing – it is the absence of light.  God is the father of lights and every good thing (Jas 1:17).  When we stop following the Lord, we no longer walk in the light.  Sin is the absence of godly living.

God can do whatever He wants, but God has chosen to give us the freedom to choose sin or choose life (Deut 30:19).  God doesn’t desire any of the wicked to perish (Ezek 18:23).  His desire is for all mankind to choose Him, but God also honors our freewill by giving each of us an entire lifetime to choose for ourselves whether we want to spend eternity with Him or away from Him.  If God simply removed sin, He would also be removing our freewill.  God respects the freedom He gave us.