My grandmother is Christian, but she has been married twice.  Both of the men she married are also Christian.  The first guy she married cheated on her, so they divorced, but she still loves him, so I was wondering who will she be with in heaven.  Will she be with the first guy she married or her current husband?

Sincerely,
Family Ties

Dear Family Ties,

Jesus was asked a very similar question by a group of Sadducees in Matt 22:23-28.  Jesus’ answer was simple – there is no marriage in heaven (Matt 22:30).  No one will be married in heaven.

I need help.  Every time someone in our family passes away, my son gets scared.  People that are adults have told him that people who have passed can come back and visit us.  He will not sleep alone for a long time by himself.  My aunt just passed away this week, and we are dealing with it again.  I do not know if this spirit or ghost thing is true or not because I have not ever seen one.  I do not want to tell him lies, so I figured the best thing is to ask a preacher if it is true or made up, and I will explain it to him.  Thank you and hope you can help.

Sincerely,
Ghost Buster

Dear Ghost Buster,

Death is a very difficult concept for children to cope with, and myths can make a tricky subject even more trying.  When people die, they do not come back to visit us.  Heb 9:27 says that when we die, we go to meet God – we don’t come back.  Lk 16:19-23 tells us that when people die, good or bad, they go to Paradise or torments.  Ghost stories and tales of spirits are just that – stories and tales.  You can confidently tell your son that no one is coming back to visit him, and he can rest easy knowing God is in control.

My cousin committed suicide.  She had a chronic illness and was in great physical pain.  She did not believe in God.  Did she go to heaven or hell when she died?

Sincerely,
Crushed Cousin

Dear Crushed Cousin,

God is the judge of the living and the dead (1 Pet 4:5)… we cannot make the judgment on whether your cousin will go to heaven or hell, but we can say that she did things opposite of what the Bible teaches.  We are told to place our faith in God, and our trust and obedience in Him saves us (Jhn 3:16, Mk 16:16).  Suicide certainly is condemned.  Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide.  Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness.  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.  Our hearts go out to you as you mourn the loss of your cousin.

If God doesn't judge, how does He "judge" whether or not we get into heaven?

Sincerely,
On Trial

Dear On Trial,

The Scriptures never say that God doesn’t judge – in fact, they say the exact opposite (Ps 7:11, Ps 50:6, Eccl 3:17, Acts 10:42, Rom 2:16, Rom 3:6, 2 Tim 4:1, and Heb 12:23… just to name a few passages).  Your confusion probably comes from an often misquoted verse (Matt 7:1) that says christians shouldn’t judge.  However, that verse in its proper context doesn’t say christians should never judge – but that they shouldn’t judge using their own judgment (Matt 7:1-5).  We should always use God’s standard, the Bible, to make judgments in this life.

Hello.  I am sort of a "beginner" christian, raised in a non-believer society and family.  Now my father, who is an unbeliever, is in a dying process.  He has been unconscious for several days now, and the doctors keep giving him twelve hours more at a time to live.  He keeps hanging on to the surprise of his doctors who (in their words) have not seen anything like this before.  That said, I have been praying to God that He would not let him die until he reaches salvation, knowing that at the last point of his consciousness he was an unbeliever.  I guess my question would be if it is possible for him to accept Jesus and receive salvation while in the dying state of unconsciousness and how could I help facilitate this (other than through prayer).

Sincerely,
Hopeful Child

Dear Hopeful Child,

Our hearts go out to you during this difficult time; nothing is harder than feeling helpless to do anything, and there isn’t anything you can do for your father’s relationship with God.  It is impossible to become a christian without a conscious, mature, and aware mind.  Becoming a christian involves repentance (Acts 3:19); ‘repentance’ means ‘to change your mind’… something that simply can’t be done while you are unconscious.  It involves confession (Lk 12:8-9).  Both of these things require an active and mature mind.  All faith is built upon hearing and understanding the Scriptures (Rom 10:17).  As long as your father is in the state he is in… all you can do is accept that he is in the hands of a loving and wise God.