My mom is going through depression; she was just in a breakup with her boyfriend.  She wants a life, but she thinks by just praying, God will help her.  I told her He can if He wants, but God wants to see her do it on her own, and He's not going to help her if she's not going to do the footwork to get her life back.  Question is, was I wrong in telling her that? Because I need to get her back to being the mother and woman she was.

Sincerely,
Worried Child

Dear Worried Child,

God will bless your mother when she chooses to search after righteousness.  God says that He draws near to us when we draw near to Him (1 Jn 1:6-7).  Christ said that all who seek God should “ask, seek, and knock” if they want to receive God’s help (Matt 7:7).  God freely offers the gift of salvation to all mankind (Rom 6:23), but we have to want it and ask for it.  Jesus told all His disciples to take up their crosses and follow after Him (Matt 16:24).  We cannot live ungodly lives and expect God to bless us in those choices (Rom 6:1-2).  You are absolutely correct in telling your mother that God has expectations.

What is the correct way to pray?

Sincerely,
On Bended Knee

Dear On Bended Knee,

Jesus’ followers asked Him that very question (Lk 11:1).  His response was what is commonly referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer” (Lk 11:2-4).  We are not expected to match that prayer word-for-word, but it is a model off of which we can base all of our prayers.  The prayer started off with reverence for God (Heb 12:28) and humility of spirit (Dan 10:12).  Jesus’ prayer also included thanks for the things that God had given Him.  It is always good to make sure that our prayers include thanksgiving (Php 4:6).  After that, He prayed for His physical needs (like daily bread).  God wants us to ask Him for help in this life (Lk 18:1-7).  The model prayer also included a request for forgiveness of sins and a commitment to serve Him faithfully.  God tells us that He will forgive us if we ask (1 Jn 1:9).  Last, but not least, the prayer includes the words “Thy will be done”… everything we do and ask for must be subject to God’s will (Jas 4:13-15).  Those are the basic instructions that Christ gave on prayer.

Why do Catholics pray to Mary?  I have read articles that say they pray to her as an intercessor, but I cannot find anywhere in the Bible that says to do this.  How do they justify this Biblically?

Sincerely,
Who’s That Girl?

Dear Who’s That Girl,

Praying to or through Mary is wrong.  Technically speaking, Catholics are not taught to pray to Mary – but to ask Mary to intercede on their behalf before God.  Catholicism teaches that Mary (and other Catholic saints) have more “clout” with God than us, and therefore, Catholics are instructed to ask these Catholic-appointed saints to pray for them.  Having said all that, many Catholics are confused about their own doctrine and do, in fact, pray directly to Mary.  Either behavior is in direct contradiction to the Bible.

Jesus is the only Mediator between man and God (1 Tim 2:5).  We pray to the Father through Jesus… not through Mary or any other Catholic figure.  We are told to confidently approach God directly (Heb 4:16).  We should ask of God and pray to Him through the name of Jesus (Jhn 14:13-14).  Praying to (or through) Catholic saints is sinful.

I don’t believe in God no more.  I needed prayers answered, and God turned a deaf ear to me.  I have done prayer requests at my church for years, but this year was so bad, I lost everything, and all I wanted was a few prayers answered, and God said, “No”.  So I have quit my church and believe God and all preachers are fake.

Sincerely,
Budding Atheist

Dear Budding Atheist,

We have no easy answers for you; it is obvious that you are hurting very much.  We would caution you in saying that God has turned a deaf ear to you.  God knows what you are going through – and there is a reason.  When Joseph was thrown into prison, he ended up being the king’s right-hand man (Gen 39:20).  When Moses was exiled to the desert for forty years, he ended up being the savior of all Israel (Acts 7:29-30).  Even Jesus proves that suffering can lead to victory; His death on the cross led to the forgiveness of sins (Heb 12:2).

Life here on this planet is full of heartaches, and we here at AYP cannot imagine how hard this last year has been on you.  2009 was a very difficult year for many, many people.  Just don’t forget that adversity can lead to victory.  No battle is won without bloodshed, and no bridge is built without sweat.  God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28).

To complicate issues further, you are right on at least one point… many preachers are fake.  False teachers are rampant (2 Pet 2:1-2), and it may be that where you have been going has been plying you with false teaching that would discourage anyone.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we would be happy to help you find a congregation that faithfully teaches the truth.  It is through many tribulations that we must enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22).  We are so sorry for your suffering; don’t give up.

Based on 1 Cor 11:4-7, can a man pray while wearing a hat/cap?

Sincerely,
Covered or Uncovered?

Dear Covered or Uncovered,

1 Cor 11:1-15 is a discussion of men’s and women’s roles.  Part of that discussion involves the way that men and women look.  Women are supposed to be veiled (1 Cor 11:5), and God has given women a natural veil – their long hair (1 Cor 11:15).  Likewise men are supposed to have heads that are unveiled (1 Cor 11:4), i.e. short hair (1 Cor 11:14).  It is always wrong for a man to have long, feminine hair.  There is great debate over whether or not a man wearing a hat while praying is a sin.  One cannot be too dogmatic on this point.  The verses of first Corinthians eleven are primarily dealing with hair length, not with caps or hats.

Having said that, it is culturally appropriate in America for a man to take his hat off while praying – as a sign of respect.  Therefore, since we cannot all agree on whether leaving the hat on is a sin, but we can be sure that removing the hat is respectful… probably just best to take the hat off (Rom 14:13).