When praying, I find myself quite frequently praying "in my mind" instead of praying out loud.  Is God displeased with this?  I mean, I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to do it out loud, but it just comes naturally to me, and it seems like I can explain myself better to Him.  It's like I get "stuck" on my words when I pray out loud for some reason!

Sincerely,
Silent

Dear Silent,

God never emphasizes silent prayer above vocal prayer or vice-versa.  We have examples of both in the Bible.  Nehemiah prayed silently before the king, and his prayer was answered (Neh 2:4).  Hannah also prayed silently, but with fervor, and her prayer was answered (1 Sam. 1:13).  On the other hand, righteous Stephen prayed with a loud voice (Acts 7:60).  There is no specific instruction given by God in regard to volume.

I need some advice, please.  In our congregation, we begin midweek Bible class by taking prayer requests; after which, a prayer is offered by one of the men.  I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with some of the prayers that are being requested and offered.  Some of the members request prayers for family and friends who are unbelievers and experiencing issues such as surgeries, pregnancy complications, injuries, illness, financial difficulties, etc.  One member has asked several times that her mom, who has shown no interest whatsoever in coming to church, might find a job and for her sister whose baby was born premature to be able to deal with the stress and worry.  However, this is the second baby her sister has born out of wedlock with two different men.  She frequents the local bars and continues live with her boyfriend who fathered this most recent baby.  My question is: should we be offering prayers for unbelievers other than that they repent and turn from their sins?  I am really uncomfortable about the prayers being offered that ask God to heal, comfort, and "be with" these family members and friends who continue to live in sin.  Praying for the health of a baby or child is one thing, but praying for grown adults who give no indication they are interested in repenting and getting the sin out of their life...?  Privately, I pray that the trials these people are having will cause them to draw closer to God and change their lives.  But how do I handle this situation where public prayer is being offered?  Do I pray – or pretend to pray – with the group when I feel like we are praying for something displeasing to God?  As a single woman, I don't know how to go about expressing my concerns without coming off as being critical or unsubmissive to the men's leadership.  One complication is that several of the members requesting these prayers are young adults and recent converts.  However, some, including the men offering prayers, have been in the church for years and appear to be okay with it all.  Am I way off base, and if I'm not, how do I handle this?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Keeping My Head Down

Dear Keeping My Head Down,

Your concerns are valid, and praying for unbelievers is also valid.  The verses that will answer your concerns are 1 Tim 2:1-4.  Those four verses lay out God’s attitude toward praying for unbelievers.  First and foremost, we are told to pray for all men (1 Tim 2:1).  That is a very clear verse on the subject.  It is appropriate, necessary, and godly to pray for all human beings.  1 Tim 2:2 says that we are even to pray for politicians!  It may be a little tongue-in-cheek to say, but most folks don’t think much of the lifestyles and attitudes of politicians, and yet, we are told to pray for their well-being and success.  God is so adamant that prayers ought to be offered on behalf of all men that 1 Tim 2:3 specifically says, “This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior”.  So take comfort, praying for unbelievers is the right thing to do, and you can comfortably join in the congregational prayers offered on their behalf.

Now, we also said that your concerns are valid – that is where 1 Tim 2:4 comes in.  1 Tim 2:4 points out that the ultimate goal is to save souls.  If everyone is blessed with creature comforts, but their souls are lost in the end – it was a waste (Matt 16:26).  Sometimes people need catastrophes to bring them closer to God, and sometimes people convert because they knew the church was praying for them, and that prayer was answered.  So how do we know who and what to pray for?!  One option is to only pray for the people that we feel are “worthy”… but that sure puts us in the position of being judge and jury, doesn’t it (Jas 4:10-12)?  The other option is to pray for all and always remember to have the attitude of “Lord willing”.  Jas 4:13-15 says that whatever we do, we should pray that the Lord’s will would come first.  It is good to pray for all people, but we should also always have the attitude that God’s will should supersede our own desires.  If at some point the congregation isn’t showing that attitude of humility in the congregational prayers, you will have a problem, but if we always remember that the goal is to save souls and the Lord knows best, it is a wonderful thing to pray for all men.

Vain prayer?  How much prayer isn't vain if we realize God knows what’s in our hearts?

Sincerely,
Brief Speaker

Dear Brief Speaker,

There are two major verses that deal with the amount we should pray.  Matt 6:7-8 deals with one extreme.  Jesus says to avoid “vain repetition” because your heavenly Father already knows what you need.  Prayers that are purposefully lengthy instead of heartfelt are useless.  The Catholic practice of ‘praying the rosary’ is a great example of vain repetition.  The same words reiterated by rote over and over again don’t become more effective – God heard you the first time.  When we say the same words over and over without any respect for the fact that we are bringing a real petition before the Creator, we are senseless babblers.

The other extreme is dealt with in Lk 18:1-8.  Lk 18:1 says that we should pray and never grow weary in prayer.  Jesus told a parable of a widow that petitioned a judge until he gave her an answer ­– and He praised the woman for her deliberate and persevering spirit.  God does want to hear from us, and He does want us to continue to bring our concerns to Him.  There is nothing wrong with repeating the same concerns and needs to God in a meaningful way on a regular basis.

In short, God desires thoughtful and regular prayer from His children on the issues that are pressing in their lives, not constant scripted chatter void of meaning and thought.

How do I know when my answer to prayer is "no" versus "not yet"?

This is a huge struggle for me, especially when the prayer has no time sensitivity.  How long do I continue praying on the subject matter?  Any insight you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
RSVP

Dear RSVP,

Christ taught that we should feel free to pray for something until an obvious answer presents itself.  The key to understanding this topic is the parable of the unrighteous judge found in Lk 18:1-6.  Jesus told His disciples to pray to God like that widow begged the judge for assistance – beg until you get an answer.  God expects us to pray to Him constantly (1 Thess 5:17).  Many of our prayers have no obvious time sensitivity to them.  Think about the topics that we comfortably accept as lifetime prayers that never cease:

1. For our children’s health and well-being – that prayer will last a lifetime.
2. For our daily bread (Lk 11:3)
3. For our long-term health
4. For our leaders and national peace (1 Tim 2:1-2)

It is not a lack of faith to continue praying for something when the solution has yet to be revealed – it is an act of strong faith to continue to pray.

Hi.  Hope you are having a wonderful day.  I have a question.  I know that if you sow financial seed, you can receive a harvest from God, but what I want to know is: can I also sow financial seed to receive a healing from God???

Sincerely,
Medical Costs?

Dear Medical Costs,

Whoever told you that you are guaranteed a financial harvest by giving to God is misinterpreting the meaning of 2 Cor 9:6.  The idea that we get financial gain by giving more to churches is a heretical teaching that very conveniently happens to sow financial prosperity for churches… regardless of what happens to the people they are preaching to.  This teaching is often referred to as “the prosperity gospel” and is wrong (read our article “Cash Cow” for further details on that false doctrine).  Suffice it to say, sometimes God blesses giving people with financial blessings, but other times, truly godly people suffer through great financial struggles.

We don’t know what physical ailment you wish to have healed, but more money in the contribution plate isn’t the answer, and if your church is telling you that it is – you need to find a new church!  We can help with that if you’d like (e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org).  God tells us to pray when we are sick and to have others pray for us as well (Jas 5:14).  Righteous prayers do more good than we can ever imagine (Pr 15:29, Jas 5:16).  Live faithfully and trust that God is in control (Ps 46:10).