I'm extremely lonely.  I read somewhere that loneliness is God telling you that you have a problem with relationships.  Is that true?  I pray a lot, and I'm consistently seeking His advice and direction, but I never know if I'm making the right choices.  How does God let me know if my choices are pleasing to Him?

I'm lonely and border-line depressed.  I keep asking God to show me His will for me and what I need to do to please Him, but nothing has changed.  I feel like I'm not going to be happy until He's happy with me, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I'm not saying that I'm perfect by any means, but I just don't know what I'm doing.

Sincerely,
Lonely

Dear Lonely,

Loneliness does not necessarily mean you have a problem with relationships… but it can mean that – we simply can’t tell you one way or the other in your circumstance.  However, we can tell you about whether or not your choices are pleasing to God.

We are pleasing to God when we follow His commandments (Jhn 15:14).  God wants us to live faithfully, and faith is found in God’s Word (Rom 10:17).

One of the commandments that is found in God’s Word is that we need to assemble with other christians (Heb 10:24-25).  If you are not doing this, this is an important part of serving God… and will probably help immensely with your loneliness.  Not all churches are the same – many churches don’t teach the truth.  It is very important that you find a faithful church to meet with.  We would be happy to help you find one; simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

A few things confuse me.  If we are supposed to view the world as temporary and Heaven as our final home, why should we even try to do things that earn recognition in the world?  Why does everyone strive to be "successful"?  Why don't we focus on simple things like loving each other and being happy instead of stuff like obtaining credentials and other social honors ultimately to make money and buy more and more worldly possessions?  Why do we even pray about world-related stuff if we should only care about pleasing God and inheriting His kingdom?  Why do we not want to die even though if we're saved, we’ll go to Heaven?

Sincerely,
Not Climbing The Ladder

Dear Not Climbing The Ladder,

Solomon says that God wants to bless us in this life as well as the next (Eccl 2:24).  True, heaven will be far better (Php 1:23), but it is normal to enjoy the blessings of this life.  In fact, if we are christians, we are to work hard at all we do (Col 3:23).  Working hard brings success, and success brings honor.  There is nothing wrong with success unless it tears us away from Christ.  Covetousness, greed, and selfishness are wrong (Col 3:5, 1 Tim 6:10) and should always be avoided, but it is possible to be successful and still avoid those vices.  Even Jesus prayed that God would bless us with our daily bread and in our daily lives (Lk 11:3).

The second part of your question addresses the natural human fear of death and attachment to this world.  God has set eternity in our hearts (Eccl 3:11) as well as the desire to live (Ps 23:4).  Most people fear death (or at least aren’t chasing it) because of their natural survival instinct.  There is nothing wrong with that.  This world is where we live and are used to living.  Death is the unknown, and we naturally fear the unknown.

For about two weeks, I have been drifting like somehow I have gotten separated from God; the reason I say this is because usually, when I pray, God gives me open manifestations and reveals things to me, but now it's like I've been shut out.  The things that I once was on fire for concerning God… it's like I have to push harder to get into the presence of God when it used to be so easy to get in His presence.  Please help me; I've never been in this place before, and I'm ashamed because I am supposed to be more mature than this when it comes to the Word and things of the Spirit of God.  Am I being rocked to sleep by the enemy?

Sincerely,
Asking For Directions

Dear Asking For Directions,

Our closeness to God isn’t defined by how close we feel to Him or by any personal revelation we think we receive… the Scriptures are our compass, not our emotions.  When the Bible was perfectly completed, all prophecy and individual revelations were done away with (1 Cor 13:9-10).  We believe your sincerity in feeling that God answers your prayers through directly speaking to you, but you are mistaken on that point.  However, the up side of that is that you can know – without worry of personal judgment muddying the waters – whether or not you are pleasing to God.  Paul told Timothy that he was approved by God when he rightly handled the Word of Truth (2 Tim 2:15).  Col 1:5 says that we have hope through the Word of God, and Eph 1:13 says we are sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit through the Gospel of salvation.

Many people wholeheartedly believe that they are pleasing to God but will be condemned on the Day of Judgment (Matt 7:22-23).  Feelings can be deceptive, but God’s Word is unchanging, unbiased, and able to rightly divide our lives and character (Heb 4:12).  If you want to know whether or not you are pleasing God, compare your life to the Scriptures.  “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Rom 10:17).”

I am an African American; I say this because I recently took a history class and found out that Christianity was used as one of the means of not only imposing slavery, but justifying it.  As someone who was brought up in the church, this has really disturbed me.  So I went to the Bible and began reading the laws of slavery in Leviticus 25, and there was also a particular verse in Colossians 3:22 which implies that slavery was not condoned by God but not frowned upon either.  Funny enough, all of my years being in the church, I have never heard any of these passages mentioned... I have two questions:

Where does God stand when it comes to slavery?  How come it is not allowed anymore if the Bible does not discourage it?

Sincerely,
Loosing Faith

Dear Loosing Faith,

Unfortunately, many horrendous things have been done in the name of Christ… but that doesn’t make them right.  God does address slavery in the Bible.  He makes it clear that it is better when people are free; freedom is what God desires for all men (1 Cor 7:21).  However, God also deals with how people can live in a world where slavery does exist… hence, verses like Col 3:22.  Slavery was, and is, a reality in many parts of the world, a reality that doesn’t go away once people become christians.  How a slave should behave toward their master is a down-to-earth, practical, moral question for many, many people.  The fact that we Americans don’t have to deal with such dilemmas anymore is a blessing indeed.

What does the Bible teach about who is supposed to care for their sick and elderly parents?  (Preferably verses from the New Testament).  I would like the Scriptures and an interpretation, please.

Sincerely,
Caregiver

Dear Caregiver,

The most applicable set of verses on the topic of caring for ageing parents are Matt 15:3-6 and 1 Tim 5:4.  In the book of Matthew, Jesus makes a direct correlation between the command to ‘honor your father and mother’ (Matt 15:4, Eph 6:2) and the act of spending money to care for their needs (Matt 15:5-6).  Part of honoring your parents (whether it be a joy or a burden) is caring for their physical needs.  In 1 Tim 5:4, Paul makes it clear that children should care for their needy parents.  In caring for our parents, we show piety and do something that is acceptable in God’s sight.