I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for a wrong choice I made.  What do I need to do?  I have asked God to forgive me, but I feel so guilty and unclean.

 

Sincerely,
Internal Struggle

Dear Internal Struggle,

Christians constantly struggle with forgiving themselves for sins even after God has already forgiven them (1 Jn 1:9).  Godly people are known for their sense of integrity and personal responsibility.  Like David, christians accept the blame for their sins and don’t shirk from taking the blame (2 Sam 12:13).  This can be a double-edged sword though.  It is a positive thing when we honestly examine ourselves and see our faults without excuse (1 Cor 11:27-31).  But there is a negative side to personal responsibility… “hyper-guilt”.

When christians carry guilt for their sins long after God has forgiven them, they inhibit themselves from rejoicing.  Christians should rejoice that they are saved from their sins (Php 4:4).  It is hard for us to comprehend, but when God forgives us, He no longer remembers our sins (Heb 8:12).  Let go of your guilt, not because you weren’t wrong, but because it is to the glory of God that you let go and rejoice (1 Jn 2:12).  When we rejoice and accept God’s forgiveness and the comfort it brings, we bring glory to His name and honor Him for the gift that He has given us.

I am twenty-years-old and have been trying to live a christian life for three years now.  It just seems like I can never get it right.  When I get rid of one ungodly habit, another rears its head.  I realize I have so many that I can't even find the strength to tackle them.  I have prayed and committed these things to Christ, and I know He's gonna come through.  My question is: how do I deal with constantly disappointing God?  I feel like I embarrass the kingdom whenever I behave a certain way (very argumentative, keeping malice, fornicating), and I hate that I hurt the God that came through for me when I was down in the pit.  Please pray for me as well. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Missing The Mark

Dear Missing The Mark,

Your struggle is the struggle of every christian.  As we seek to live godly lives, we are constantly confronted with our inadequacies.  It is a good thing that you are honest with yourself and with God about your faults; if you weren’t, you would deceive yourself, and the truth would not be in you (1 Jhn 1:8).  On the other hand, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and willing to forgive us (1 Jhn 1:9).

Ironically, only honestly imperfect people will be saved.  If you told us that you had stopped failing and no longer sinned, then you would be a liar, and God’s Word would have no place in your life (1 Jhn 1:10).

Christianity is not about being perfect – but about not giving up attempting to be perfect.  A faithful person is one that hears, learns, and attempts to apply God’s Word (Rom 10:17).  You will constantly fail in that struggle, but godly people pick themselves back up again and keep trying (Pr 24:16).  In essence, the victory of Christianity exists in never saying, “I quit!” or permanently returning to an ungodly life.  Continue to give your one hundred percent to repenting of the sin in your life – but understand that as long as you keep fighting – God keeps forgiving.

I have always had confusion about how we are forgiven for our sins and the sequence in which this occurs.  This is my understanding/confusion: I understand that after baptism by immersion as a young adult or as an adult capable of making this decision for the reasons outlined in the Bible, we are cleansed of our previous sins and are reborn as christians. Assuming we are attending church and taking communion each Sunday as commanded by Jesus, we are cleansed of our sins weekly (and perhaps when we pray for forgiveness of our sins, too - daily, hourly, or however often).  What happens if we leave church, trip over a curb and curse, thus sinning and are tragically killed later that day in an accident?  We then die without seeking forgiveness for our sins?  I don't think that God would condemn us for this, assuming we are living an otherwise godly life, but I have never had clarity on this issue.  Any insight you can provide would be much appreciated.

 

Thank you!

Sincerely,
Time To Forgive

Dear Time To Forgive,

Your confusion is a common one because the Bible never explicitly states what happens to the sins that we didn’t specifically ask for forgiveness for.  There is no specific verse that deals with this issue; instead, we must look at some of the concepts that are scattered throughout the Scriptures.

1. Jesus is our Advocate (1 Jhn 2:1-3).  Jesus is our High Priest, and He mediates between us and God (1 Tim 2:5).  Jesus wants to intercede for your sins, and He desires to help you get into heaven.
2. God doesn’t desire anyone to be separated from Him (2 Pet 3:9).  No one will ever accidentally go to hell, and no one will accidently miss out on heaven because they didn’t have an opportunity to pray for forgiveness right before they died.  God is ready and willing to forgive (Ps. 86:5).
3. God expects our obedience, and all forgiveness is dependent upon our willingness to draw near to Him with obedient hearts (1 Pet 1:14).  The Bible says that our obedience to Him purifies our souls.  God forgives the faithful and obedient servant (Heb 10:38).
4. John paints a beautiful picture for us in 1 Jhn 1:7 by saying, “If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” The word ‘walk’ means ‘to live continually’, and whenever we have that relationship but we accidentally sin, the blood of Jesus continually cleanses us of our sins.

When you consider all of these concepts, the truth on the subject becomes evident; we are forgiven as we ask for forgiveness, and God gives grace in those times when we are unable or ignorant to ask for it.  So continue to ask and pray for forgiveness, but you can also have peace that God’s grace will protect your soul as you do your best to live faithfully.

I have been told that a person who commits suicide would go straight to hell, even if they were a christian.  This doesn't seem to make sense to me seeing as the Bible never explicitly says that salvation can be over-ridden by certain actions.  While someone who wants to commit suicide needs to seek help, are there certain actions that can negate a person's salvation?

Sincerely, Eternal Salvation

Dear Eternal Salvation,

People can lose their salvation. Heb 6:4-6 and Heb 10:26-27 outline that if someone rejects God’s Word (even after becoming a christian), they will go to hell just like any other unbeliever. And that is the key to the whole thing – is suicide an example of rejecting God’s Word and sinning willfully?

The Bible never specifically addresses suicide as being worse then another sin. Suicide certainly is condemned. Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8). The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide. Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness. Therefore, in most cases, it would be fair to say that suicide will send you to hell. It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.

We here at AYP only hesitate to say, “All people who commit suicide go to hell,” because God never specifically makes that statement. The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

I have a VERY good friend, my closest friend ever, and she doesn't have a religion. She told me her parents are letting her choose for herself. I am trying to teach her about Christianity and the Bible.  I have done as much as I can to try and lead her on the right path, including taking her to the christian-based camp my parents are directors of.  She has done pretty well, but I am scared that she, in the end, won't make the right decision.  I don't know what else I can keep doing to help save her. Do you have advice?

Sincerely, Being A Friend

Dear Being A Friend,

Everything that can be done, you are doing. You are open about your beliefs, you stand by your morals, you answer her questions, and you involve her in things that help influence her in a positive way. The rest is up to her.

When God made us, He made us in His image and gave us free will (Gen 1:27). That means that everyone has the right to choose the path of their life. You get to choose for yourself… and so does your friend. You can’t make her become a christian; all you can do is light the way (Matt 5:14). Your friendship is the most important friendship in her life because you are the one showing her how to get to heaven. She may listen to you; she may not… but either way, you are doing the right thing. Keep doing what you are doing. The only other thing you could do is pray for and about her, and then trust that God will take care of everything (Mk 11:24).

As long as she is happy to be your friend (and doesn’t try and force you to stop living a moral life), then be her friend. Some people take a long time to obey God. Paul was really stubborn (1 Tim 1:16), Peter was scared (Mk 14:67-68), and Thomas doubted (Jhn 20:24-25). Eventually, all three of them came around and did the right thing. Maybe your friend will be the same way.